“You bought houseplants?” she asked.
“And we hung them across the bay window,” I replied, gesturing to the house up the block. “And in the kitchen window too. We also got a pair of elephant ears for the living room and have plans to add a few ferns as soon as we find the right ones.”
“Will miracles never cease?” she replied, grinning over at me.
“Is it okay if I hit my vape?” I asked.
“As long as you don’t mind if I hit mine,” she replied, fishing a yellow one from her pocket.
Mine was a green and white sour apple watermelon flavored one that flashed when I hit it, a reminder that it would need to be replaced soon.
“So, what was it you came over to ask me?” she asked once we’d settled in.
“Please don’t think this is odd, but it’s about the monstrosity in the living room,” I explained.
“You mean the couch,” she replied, exhaling as she laughed. “I’ve been trying to get them to let me replace that thing for almost as long as I’ve been nagging them to let me plant some things over there. All of that pretty yard is a fresh canvas just going to waste, though happily, not for much longer.”
“Is there a story behind the couch?” I asked. “Like, is there some sentimental attachment they’re avoiding talking to me about, or are they really just god-awful about putting things off?”
“Honey, you are mated to two of the biggest procrastinators in the village, and that’s saying something. When it comes to getting work done, they are laser focused, but when it comes to getting stuff done around the house, those two are like a pair of frat boys, I swear. I have told them over and over to write things down. I can’t tell you how many notepads and to-do list sheets I’ve given them over the years, and not once have I spotted even one of them in plain sight when I visited.”
“Because they are all in a drawer, along with four different kinds of can openers, which I located after we’d brought home a fifth one. For reasons he couldn’t fully explain, Nyx has made it a habit of tossing them in there instead of putting them back in the drawer Lani designated for them to occupy.”
“And promptly forgets where he puts them when he gets distracted by something else,” she replied. “I know how my son can be. Lani just shakes his head, puts everything where it belongs once it turns up again, then sits back and waits to see where they appear next.”
“I can’t wait,” I said. “It’s sure to be entertaining.”
“Oh, it will be that and then some.”
“So, the couch just hasn’t been a high enough priority for them to get to yet?” I said, mulling that over in my mind.
“Exactly. It’s a routinely complained about inconvenience, but it’s only one they notice after they sit down or pass out on it.”
“I know I’m new to the whole being mated thing, but I’m starting to feel like this is one of those times when it’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.”
“There will be no need to ask for forgiveness if you’re about to do what I think you are,” she said.
“I’ve never shopped for a couch before,” I blurted.
“Well, you’re in luck. I’ve shopped for several, and I happen to have tomorrow off if you need help,” she offered.
“I’d love some.”
“Then I’ll pick you up at ten unless that’s too early.”
“No, that will be fine.”
“Now, is the couch what you really came over to talk about?”
“Not entirely,” I replied. “When I popped out to hit my vape and saw you, I thought maybe it would be a good time to tell you about issues you found when you investigated me.”
“I’m listening.”
“Nyx suggested that I let my hair go back to its natural shade, and I’d have agreed with him if I hadn’t chosen to dye it brown to keep people from pegging me as a jellyfish.”
Sip. Sip.
Puff.
