What did I expect? That she’d get over me fast? I wouldn’t, so why would she?
I bit my lip and looked away.
“Why?” Alba asked. “Why did you have to ruin it?”
I swallowed the knot in my throat. “So she’d graduate and have the future she deserves. I can’t tell you more.”
Alba sighed, then lifted the books. “You need to tell me the titles. If I lie, I need to at least know what I’m lying about.”
I pulled a folded list from my pocket. “Titles and summaries—so you can talk to her about them. She loves discussing what she reads.”
She shook her head. “You’re not okay.”
Javi snorted. “I’ve been telling him this since I got here.”
I didn’t care about being ridiculous. I just wanted Kaia to feel cared for, even if she never knew it was me.
“We need a schedule,” I said. “I’ll give you one book a month. Tell me what day works.”
She stepped back. “Oh, hell no.”
“You’re my only option, okay?” I snapped. “I can’t send them here. I can’t ask anyone else. I can’t—”
Can’t stand the thought of her sobbing into her pillow. Can’t forgive myself. Can’t imagine a future without Kaia in it.
“Please,” I said. “I know it’ll help her. And believe me, I wouldn’t drag you into this if I could give them to her myself, but I can’t.”
Alba studied me for a few beats, then nodded. “Okay. Fine.”
“Thank you. Is she eating? She sometimes doesn’t eat when she’s nervous or sad. Please—make her eat.”
Alba slid the note into her polo pocket. “You make it hard to hate you, but my loyalty’s to Kaia. Don’t expect me to spill her secrets or tell you anything she wouldn’t want you to know.”
“I don’t. Thanks—for helping me. And her.”
“Only because I hope these will stop the crying.” She tapped the books with a finger. “She needs to focus on her studies, not what you put her through.”
“He put himself through the same thing,” Javi muttered for the third time since Alba appeared.
She shrugged. “He has you. Do your job and help him. I’ll help Kaia. I need to go—she must’ve woken up from her nap.”
“Thanks again,” I said.
She shrugged off the words and turned back toward the trees.
“No goodbye?” Javi called.
“You don’t deserve one yet,” she called without looking back. “Maybe one day.”
She disappeared into the woods and Javi chuckled. “Fuck, she’s cute. And Spanish. What are the odds?”
“Guess you’re not so mad at me for making you drive all the way here,” I said, opening the passenger door.
Javi circled the car. “I was never mad. I wanted you to feel better. Do you?”
I gave him the answer he wanted and buckled up.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
