I cross my arms over my chest and something in me eases, just enough to hear him. “Fine,” I say with a sigh. “What do you think?”
“I think you are feeling this too, and it scares the absolute hell out of you, and you don’t know what to do with that, so you keep building these walls even though I work harder each time to get around them.”
I slam my eyes shut. He’s not wrong and it’s the most infuriating thing about him. He’s never wrong about me. But I can’t admit that. I can’t admit I’m falling too. If I do, I won’t survive what comes next. Not if I have to leave.
“Iamfalling for you,” he continues, “and the best part is, I’m not scared to admit it anymore.”
“Duke…” I open my eyes and shake my head. “You don’t mean that.”
“Don’t tell me what I mean.”
I swallow, hard. “This summer ends, Duke. I leave. You stay. I can’t live here. You don’t like New York. That’s how this story ends.”
“But you’re a writer.”
“Yes, and?”
“So write a different ending!”
“I’m sorry, it’s not that easy.”
He watches me for a long beat. Then nods once, jaw tight. “It is when you follow your heart.”
“Duke …”
“Listen, I’m not sorry. I said what I said because I meant it, but …” He puts his hands on his hips and takes a step back from me. “Since you’ve already written the story in your head, maybe it’s best we don’t let our hearts get all tangled up after all.”
I know I did this to myself, but I hate hearing these words. I reach for him, but he increases the distance between us.
“Next week, my brother Charlie is picking me up. I’m headed to LA with him to try to secure some other funding for the ranch.”
My heart sinks. He still doesn’t trust me. He still doesn’t think I’m going to do my best to help him win.
“Until then,” he says. “I’ll leave you be. You can still have the run of the house. Jameson and I will move in with Topper for a bit.”
Now I feel sick. I don’t want to be apart from him, and yet every time I open my mouth, nothing comes. My thoughts keep battling with each other so that I can’t speak. His eyes lock onmine, and the corners of his mouth fall when he realizes I’m not going to protest.
“Let’s get back to camp.” He’s already turned from me before he finishes the sentence.
We hike the rest of the way in silence, and once we return to camp, Rusty pulls Duke aside before he can even set our cooler of fish down.
“What’s going on?” Duke asks, feeling the disruption at camp.
“You and I are headed back early,” Rusty says. “Garrett snuck vodka into camp.”
Duke’s eyes flick to me and then back to Rusty. “Shit.”
“Topper packed up your tent. We need to get going if we want to reach the Razors before sundown.”
“Yeah.” Duke hangs his head and then turns to me. “Are you going to be all right tonight?”
No.
“Yes,” I nod. “I can bunk with Allie tonight.”
He looks at me, really looks at me, for a second longer than he should. There’s still heat in his eyes, but it’s getting buried now like a flame that’s slowly being snuffed out. Rusty walks away and Duke follows. They gather Garrett and with packs on their backs, head off into the wilderness while the rest of the camp returns to checking the fish.
I feel a touch on my arm, and Allie gives me a half smile as she sets down her fish cooler. “What’s happening?”
