No need to apologize, really. I gotta run. My next appointment is here. You working tomorrow? I’ll be there in the afternoon for a few hours, playing Santa.
Lexi
Yeah, I’ll be there. Maybe I’ll stop by if it’s not too busy.
I put my phone away and greeted my next client with thoughts of Lexi running through my mind.
The next day,while I was getting ready for my Santa shift at the hospital, I couldn’t stop thinking about Lexi. I should have pushed her more—gotten to the bottom of why she was so against relationships, because I didn’t merely want to fuck her. I wanted to date her, but I didn’t press the issue. Didn’t even bring it up. And why not? Because I was a pussy.That’s why.I’d rather see her in secret as a fuck buddy than not see her at all. She didn’t seem like the type to stick around and figure shit out. She seemed like a runner.
Damn, the parallels between this and what happened with Nathan and Daphne were crazy.The only difference—Lexi wasn’t fresh out of a relationship. She was utterly against them.Period. Oh, and we were sneaking around like teenagers. Why Daphne and Nathan couldn’t know about us escaped me. I knew Lexi had promised Daphne, but why was Daphne so against it, anyway? We were both consenting adults. Was she afraid our dating would be weird because they had just started dating? Whatever the reason, I wanted more, but was settling for sex, which was so unlike me. I hoped I’d be able to keep this up until I could figure Lexi out and break down her walls.
When I arrived at the hospital, I did my best to shake off my thoughts of Lexi. I needed to be present for the kids. Rounding on the floors was the hardest part of this volunteer gig—that was where I’d come into contact with thesickest kids. The pediatrics floor was usually more fun and lighthearted, but as I moved into the pediatric ICU and oncology floor, things always felt a little heavier. Despite that, I maintained my jolly Santa persona, hoping I’d brighten an otherwise bad day for at least some of these kids. If I could elicit even one smile from each kid, I felt like the day was a success.
After making my rounds, I went to the cafeteria to finish my shift. There, I saw kids who were visiting loved ones who were in the hospital. It was a little easier to stomach for me, although it hit a little closer to home. I wasn’t believing-in-Santa age when my mom died, but spending countless hours in the hospital while she was getting treatments took its toll on me, nonetheless. That’s actually how I ended up volunteering as Santa. I’d see all the kids during Christmastime in the cafeteria, visiting the jolly guy, smiling at a time that may have been the worst of their lives. When my mom died, and after I started feeling more like myself again, I wanted to do something, anything, to give back—something that she would have been proud of. Christmas was always her favorite, and it just felt right.
The kid on my lap beamed up at me as he told me all about the new video game system he wanted for Christmas.
21
LEXI
Work was trash. We were busy again and had several people call out, which meant that what should have been a cush assignment was doubled.Un-fucking-believable.I spent the morning changing out IV lines, updating family members, dealing with a code brown, and titrating drips. All normal ICU stuff, but when you’ve got two vented patients who need your attention equally, it can be a lot. It also meant breaks were short and hard to come by.
‘Tis the season, I guess.By the time we got some relief, it was midafternoon, and I was desperate for a caffeine boost. I made my way to the cafeteria to grab myself a soda—certainly not to catch a glimpse of a certain sexy Santa. Did I want to see Brandon? Yes. Did I have time for a quickie? No, but for some reason, the thought of seeing him excited me anyway. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Brandon had me all sorts of fucked up.
Entering the cafeteria, I spotted him immediately, sitting in the North Pole setup with a little kid on his lap.Oof, my ovaries!I didn’t even want kids, but damn.
I eyed him as I crossed the room toward the vending machines. He was laughing and smiling, completely oblivious that I was staring at him. While focused on him, I smacked right into someone, causing them to drop their tray of food. A crash rang out throughout the room. Heads turned, and a few assholes even clapped. But what absolutely sent me was the fact that Brandon had looked up and smirked at me before I could even turn my head to assess the damage I’d caused.Motherfucker caught me ogling his ass.
I quickly crouched down to help the poor guy whose lunch I’d ruined. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” I apologized as I picked up a rogue apple.
“Lacey?”
I looked up to see someone who looked somewhat familiar. I squinted my eyes. He sort of resembled what’s-his-name that I hooked up with last month. “Oh, hey. It’s Lexi, actually,” I said as he crouched down to my level.
What’s-his-name and I put the rest of the mess onto his tray and then stood up as a janitor approached with a mop. “Thank you so much. Sorry for the mess,” I said to him, and then turned back to what’s-his-name.
“I’m so sorry about that. I wasn’t looking where I was going. Let me buy you a new lunch,” I offered.
“No, really. It’s okay. But you could let me take you out to dinner, though. To make it up to you for blowing you offlast month,” he chuckled nervously and grabbed the back of his neck.
“You blewmeoff? Sorry to say, but the feeling was mutual,” I laughed. Just then, I clocked Brandon in my peripheral vision. I wasn’t sure how to play this. I could use good old what’s-his-name again and make Brando jealous, or I could be a normal, well-adjusted-grown-up.
“I’d never done anything like that before.” He leaned in closer and said in a hushed voice, “You know, had a one-night stand. I was sort of going through something, and I feel like I kind of used you. I feel terrible about it, and I’m really sorry.” He seemed genuine, and a strange feeling came over me.Was that guilt? Did I actually feel bad for using him?
I reached out and touched his arm as Brandon reached us. “Everything okay here, Lexi?” I dropped my hand from the guy’s arm like it was lava. Brandon towered over us, and he appeared to puff himself up so that he was somehow even larger than usual.Fucking men. Insert dramatic eye roll here.
“Yeah. Everything’s fine.” I directed my attention back to the guy. “I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry again—” I trailed off, still unsure of the guy’s name.
“Mark,” he smiled. “So how about dinner?”
Brandon’s eyes flashed with something akin to anger before he grabbed my arm to pull me away. “She’s already got plans tonight, Matt,” he shot over his shoulder.
“What the fuck, Brandon?” I barked, keeping my voice low. Moments later, I was being pushed into an on-call room. “What is your fucking problem?” I whisper yelled.
The door slammed, and Brandon was on me. With his hand on my throat, he pushed me against the wall. He was rough yet gentle, clearly not trying to hurt me, but definitely staking his claim. My pussy clenched at nothing.Traitorous whore.
“Who was that guy? You know him.” It wasn’t a question.
