“No wonder you come so highly recommended for therapy, with treatment like this, how would anyone not get better under your care?”
“Only you get the V.I.P. treatment for being such a good girl for me,” I laughed and kissed her again as she smiled, happily accepting the handful that she was surely going to be.
September 26th 2021
Last night, Michelle and I finally went out to dinner for the first time in what feels like a lifetime. I had told her about the legal trouble Craig had caused me; truthfully, though, I hadn’t given her much information about it. I was embarrassed.
She has always held a strong dislike for him. I don’t know why I was protecting him from her judgment, it just didn’t feel right hashing it all out when I couldn’t give her the answers she wanted.
We’ve been undergoing a heat wave this week, unusual for this time of year in the Appalachian Mountains. She could see right through every excuse I had for wearing a long-sleeved shirt out to dinner. It was true that I ran cold, I almost always had a sweatshirt in tow with me wherever I went, I just usually didn’t have it on when it was almost ninety degrees outside.
Michelle isn’t dumb, she knows my tells, she knows what I’m hiding from her. I know she wouldn’t be angry with me, I also didn’t want to face what she would say if I confirmed what she suspected. I didn’t like lying to my sister, I hated it, I didn’t know what else to tell her. She wouldn’t understand my reason for staying with him if she knew the whole truth.
The comments she made at dinner, wanting us to hang out more, missing seeing me as often as we were both used to, hurt. I felt so controlled, that I couldn’t even see my sister when I wanted to. Even if I wasn’t spending time with him, I felt trapped. She’d see through the act I put on and it made me feel guilty.
She wants me to break up with him. She hadn’t said it outright, it laid between the lines of our conversations. Michelle has always wanted what was best for me. I just wish she could see that staying was the safer option.
Chapter twenty-eight
The Exploiter
October 5th 2023
Rage coursed through me, desperate for a release. I wasn’t a stranger to having anger issues; I had dealt with explosions from it all my life, but this was different. This rage simply wouldn’t dissipate, no matter how long I let it fester. It grew beneath my skin, eating away at me until it was all I could think about. It consumed me from the inside out, controlling my every waking moment.
She thought she had won, that she was allowed to move on after what she did. It didn’t work like that though; she wasn’t living in one of her little fairytale books. Sooner or later, she was going to learn her lesson about how she needed to behave. Fantasizing about hurting her only served to worsen the anger I felt. Thinking about my hands around her neck again, having her life under my control, did nothing to help the desire to punish her fade. It only served to pour gasoline on my already uncontainable blaze.
No longer was I allowed access to her at the hospital. I was at least privy to knowing the date they were going to release her. The doctor I had spoken to upon her arrival at the medical centerhad told me forced intakes were two weeks long. Two weeks was too long in my opinion. What had seemed like a good idea at the time, forcing her to stay for her own good by telling them she had tried to kill herself, was now a decision I regretted making. They had unrightfully taken away my ability to see and speak to her. They should have seen from how crazy she acted when I came to see her that I was a victim! She manipulated the situation to get sympathy and to push me away.
That was when my plan began to form. I would have to wait first. Trying to be patient was harder when I tried to put it into practice. Throughout my entire life, I had never had to wait for anything; if I wanted something, I got it. It was as simple as that. If I wanted my plan to succeed, however, I would need to learn the new skill. I could learn to be patient if it meant I would get to punish her when the time finally came.
In the meantime, I had to find something to occupy my time. Something to help take the edge off of my explosive nature. What I had done to my mom and my sister didn’t seem to ease the beast that dwelled inside me. They hadn’t been her. Regular run-of-the-mill porn didn’t work for me anymore, my dick didn’t want to work when I watched it, lying there limp and fucking useless. Stalking her whore of a sister only held my interest for so long until I needed a more satisfying release. I had seen everything there was to see and jerked myself off more times than I could remember. I needed something better than a videofor my needs, and didn’t want to waste time talking to some girls on dating sites. Usually, I didn’t mind; the build-up leading to the eventual meet was part of the fun, but I didn’t want to wait the weeks it would take for some girl on the internet to finally decide I was safe to meet in public. Luckily, a few short searches on the internet were all it took for me to be able to find exactly what he was looking for. The burner phone I had purchased several towns over served my needs nicely.
Escort services were a bombing business in the neighboring city. Men and women—of every imaginable age—are all right there on the website just waiting for you to text them. Some had their location at hotels for safety reasons, while others had private addresses listed. The days of only being able to operate under a pimp seemed to be long gone. Most of the women I had looked at seemed to be running their own business off-site.
The site even had a search filter where you could find the exact body type you were looking for. It didn’t take long to narrow it down to blond-haired, blue-eyed, shorter girls. Most of them weren’t the prettiest to look at, the drug use evident on their faces, especially when they were missing some of their teeth. Their bodies were a different story altogether. Not all of their money seemed to go to the drugs when they paid to have tits as perfect as they did in their photos, along with tanned skin and Botox.
I took my time scrolling through the women, waiting to find the perfect one. None of them would be a perfect match, I knew thatmuch, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t try to find one as close to her as possible, though. Narrowing it down to the one I wanted took longer to do, like shopping for the perfect car, or the right gun; it demanded my undivided attention. By the time I had found her, Paris, she was already booked for that night, so I had to wait until the following evening.
Paris’s profile was perfect, or as close as it could get. She didn’t have blue eyes, but I supposed if I asked her to close them, it wouldn’t matter. I would even pay her extra if it were that big of a deal. She was short, just like Raelynn, and her body type was a pretty close match. She was in her forties, yet wore enough makeup so it wasn't exactly noticeable. Paris would be perfect for what I needed her for.
I’d used escort services before, for quick fucks just to get my dick wet when I didn’t feel like putting effort in, but this time was different. The need to get the fantasy out of my head and into reality kept me awake until the night I had scheduled with her, the anticipation fueling me and holding off my temper. Maybe it would have helped me to be able to go through the new normal I faced, but I couldn’t. Hiding out, I wasn’t even able to go back to my own house just to shower. Between my hideout and watching Rae’s sister, I managed the best I could to make sure I was cleaned up just for her. It was all about impressing her again, and practicing in Paris was what I wanted to do when I finally got my hands on my girlfriendagain.
Paris was one who didn’t operate out of one of the hotels. After texting with her almost all night the previous evening on an untraceable free texting app, I learned she operated out of a single-wide trailer that she owned on the other side of the city. The drive would be a bit longer and riskier with the stolen car. For my fantasy and for what I wanted, I could spend the extra money on gas. She was upfront with me about what she charged, half through a money app, the other half was either in person or through the app upon arrival. I made no plans to try and get out of paying her.
During the drive over there, I thought over every detail about how I wanted the night to go. What position I wanted her in, how I wanted her to talk to me, how I wanted her to act. It was amazing what money could buy you with an escort. They offered the girlfriend treatment if you paid enough for it, bareback and full service if you paid even more. I had splurged on myself when I decided to go this route and bought her for an entire hour. The credit card I had used belonged to whoever had owned the car I was currently driving, so I didn’t care how much I spent; it would get dumped with the car as soon as I was done with it.
I was scheduled to meet with her at ten p.m. When I arrived, I was surprised that her trailer wasn’t located in a trailer park, rather on what appeared to be private property. A red Camry sat parked in front of her porch, where I could visibly see the stairs starting to come loose from how my headlights illuminated the spot. A singlelight was on in her home, the living room, if I had to guess, the window lit up right next to the front door.
Getting out of the car, I patted my hand against my pants pocket, inhaling the scent of my cologne, and was proudly pleased with it. This woman was doing me a service—as women were supposed to—so I had no issue paying her for her time. The wad of cash to complete my payment in person was still safely secured in my pants as I carefully made my way up the stairs that didn’t look like they were about to collapse. I smiled to myself, excited for the release I would finally feel after a long week of trying to purge my thoughts of Raelynn. It wasn’t fair that she was allowed to hold that much control over my emotions. Temporarily. I had to remind myself it was just a temporary imprisonment under her control.
With gentle knuckles, I rapped against the door, anticipation rolling through me.
“Hey there, handsome,” she greeted as she swung the door open. Paris wore her blonde hair straight, just like I had asked, and a more natural look with her makeup than the tacky stuff she had on when she sent me a few selfies. Since I had promised to pay her extra for the little things like that, I was happy to see she had done as I had requested.
“Good evening, my beautiful green-eyed flower.” The nickname wasn’t my idea; it was her preference on what she was called. It worked out for me, though, without using her real name, it would be easier for me to pretend she was someone else.Though I had never used any pet names with Raelynn, she believed she was above them.
She stepped back into the living room, letting the light show off the outfit she was wearing for me. Rae’s favorite color was blue, so I had also asked Paris if she had any blue outfits she could wear for me. I was happy to see that she had listened. Rae had never worn what I wanted without some sort of argument, calling me impossible to please when I pointed out why I didn’t like the outfits she would wear.
