“I didn’t realize go fish could be so entertaining.” I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face. The two of them together were almost infectious to anyone around them.
“Sorry, Mr. Bradshaw, girl stuff—you wouldn’t understand,” Kendi remarked as she started gathering the cards from the bed.
I wanted to pry—it was my nature to want to know everything—yet I also wanted Rae to continue to have this bond with someone during her healing phase. Kendi was like a dose of Miracle-Grow in her garden, a steady ray of sunshine against Raelynn’s shadows. She would need her friend’s positivity just as much as she would need my depravity.
“I almost forgot about our session today,” Raelynn chuckled, getting up from the bed and walking over towardsme.
“Good thing I didn’t forget about you,” I whispered just loud enough for her ears alone to hear as she got closer, causing goosebumps to rise visibly against her pale skin. I loved seeing what my voice alone could do to her.
Her hair was pulled back into a bun at the base of her skull, and the long-sleeved army green sweater dress she was wearing had a scoop neck that left most of her neck and chest visible. The shoulders of the dress were wide enough on her frame that the fabric almost hung off her. I'd bet money she was going without a bra today, judging by how freely her ample breasts bounced as she walked, unrestrained by the additional fabric and wires.
She said goodbye to her friend, promising to meet up with her for dinner later. As much as I’d love a repeat of our dinner together, I at least knew better than to make a habit of it where other staff could see me acting out of the ordinary with the patients. I let her lead the way up to my office, opening the doors for her as we went.
Our walk was silent, almost reminiscent of the first time we had an individual session, as much as I wanted to speak to her, I couldn’t. Not yet, at least. Being in public was one thing, but once we were behind closed doors, it was like entering our own private world.
I unlocked the door to my office, letting her take her usual spot on the couch while I took my seat in my chair. This time, I didn’t bother to take out my notebook for her session. Anythingshe said or did would be retained perfectly in my memory at this point, and Dr. Stephens never asked to look over patient notes. He trusted my judgment regarding my patients in both professional and personal aspects.
“How are you today, Rae?” It was an impersonal question, one I hoped would set her at ease, since she seemed as nervous as she had been on her first day.
“Really?” She snipped. “After what happened on our walk yesterday, that’s how you decided to start? By asking me how I am?” Her tone had bite, but her fingers gave away her nerves, fiddling nonstop with the fringe on the pillow she had pulled into her lap.
“Which part? The support systems we talked about, or the fact that I kissed you?” I was calm and collected. The simmering rage I had felt earlier with Mr. Hall long since evaporated once I had laid eyes on her.
“The support systems, you didn’t give a clear enough definition, and I was a little confused, almost googledwhere to find a crack dealerinstead.” She gripped the pillow in her fists, knuckles almost white against the force she was clinging to it with.
“Did you not want me to kiss you, Miss Devlin?” Her eyes snapped to me at the question, the insinuation that she might have regretted it, and she glared at how I used her surname.
“I didn’t say that.”
“No, but something is obviously bothering you. If you didn’t want me to, I promise I won't do it again, but I need to hear those words from your mouth.” Ineeded her to verbally spar with me, to be combative like I know she loved to do. As much as I craved the taste of her lips, I craved the words she used as a weapon too.
She fiddled with the pillow a little more, her eyes cast down at the floor, though her grip had loosened significantly.
“It isn’t right, is it?” She queried, not looking up to meet my eyes this time.
“That’s not what I asked you, Rae. I asked you if it bothered you.”
“I’m aware of what you asked, I’m not an idiot and I heard you.”
“Then why can’t you answer me? Because I promise you Raelynn, if you don’t tell me not too I fully intend on doing it again,” I leaned forward, bracing my arms against my thighs as I growled at her, “And I’ll continue to do more until you’re dripping and weak from how I”ll use you.”
A whimper escaped from her, a barely audible noise, but I could hear it. Just like I could almost hear her heart thunder against her chest, her pulse quickened in her throat as she swallowed deeply.
“You’re in control here Rae. You tell me to continue and I will. I’ll worship the ground you walk on while your demons play with mine. If you tell me to stop then it ends here. As for if it’s right, probably not. I’ll be honest I’ve never messed around with a patient before, but I’ve also never had someone like you as a patienteither.”
“What does that mean? I’ve been used before and I’m not looking to be used again.” She was being honest now, at least that was getting us somewhere.
“It means exactly what I said the other evening, I want to see everything you have. Nothing you have is too dark for me to handle, and I want to experience every inch of it. Show me your worst and let me show you how it can be taken care of by a man who knows how.”
“It didn’t upset me,” She whispered. I needed her confidence to come back, needed to show her just how much power she held over me. I was going to break her, but she was going to allow it to grow.
“Then tell me what you want, Raelynn.” I could sense her hesitation. She was right there, tipping on the edge, her eyes gave her away, but her mind held her mouth from speaking what she wanted. “You’re in control, tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you,” I pushed against that exterior shell she had constructed perfectly against the world. “Do you want me to continue, or do you want me to stop?”
Her blue eyes flamed with desire as she held my gaze. For all her softness, there was an undeniable passion hidden behind her walls just waiting to be freed.
“I don’t want you to stop,” She said. This time, she didn’t shift her gaze away from me.
“Tell me what you want from me, Raelynn. I want to know what that hidden little heart of yours wants.”
