She clears her throat and her tone softens. “Yeah, I know. Extenuating circumstances and all, but he scared the shit out of me.”
“Me too.” The words are sad and worried, but no longer fearful.
I whine and open my eyes to find my mate—Neil, his name isNeil—crouched in front of me, his forehead creased with concern.
“Hey, uh, Wolfie.” A weak smile plays at his lips. “So… you managed to shift. That’s good. I was getting a little concerned that you didn’t remember how.”
I meet his gaze and his smile grows, almost natural now.
“There you are,” he says, eyes soft, voice soft. “Why don’t we get off the floor?”
He stands, holding his hand out to me. I stare at the outstretched hand for a beat, then take it. He gently tugs me to my feet, the action more encouragement than actually physical assistance. Those deep brown eyes widen a little as I rise to my full height, a good half a foot or more taller than him, but his smile stays in place, and he slowly leads me over to the bed not occupied by the female.
Wait. I know her name too…Raquel. That’s it.
I shoot her an apologetic glance from under my brows, shoulders hunched and curled inward. I didn’t mean to scare her, but my every nerve is on edge, and the default state taught to me over the past few years is anger, rage, and aggression. Those animal instinctsare ingrained, even on my human mind now, and I’m not sure if my body knows how to react in any other way.
Not anymore.
Years of blood and death and fighting for my life have left me a shell of the person I once was, hollowing out my humanity and replacing it with bloodlust on a hair trigger.
But I’m not in that place anymore. I have a chance now…
I have choices. Free will.
My free hand goes to my neck, the unconscious gesture reassuring me that the collar, that instrument of painful control, is no longer there. And my human mind, once I have a chance to get used to it again, will be able to push aside the conditioning much more easily.
Neil sits on the side of the bed and pats the spot beside him. I comply with his unspoken instruction, awkwardly lowering myself to sit next to him on the rumpled blankets. My human form feels wrong after so much time as a wolf, but the basic mechanics are instinctual enough that I don’t make a complete fool of myself.
If only my mindset could readjust so easily… My thoughts are sluggish, disjointed, my brain still running on animal instinct even though it’s in human form.
Neil smiles at me again. “It feels weird to keep calling you Wolfie now that you’re…” He gestures vaguely at my bare chest, a hint ofpink creeping into his cheeks. “Why don’t we start with your name?”
Blake.
My name is on the tip of my tongue, but the letters and sounds are jumbled in my head and my mouth won’t form the word. Or maybe can’t?
I frown, then open and close my mouth a few times, but no sound comes out except a low, unintelligible croak.
What was once an involuntary reflex, the vibration in my vocal cords, my lips, and my tongue working together to form words, seems to have deserted me, and my thoughts are too scattered to put everything back together again. Apparently, no amount of conscious thought can override years of disuse.
So, I give him a pained look, trying to convey my words with only my eyes, pleading for him to understand. I rub my throat again, letting out a low whine of frustration as my gaze darts around the room before coming back to rest on his face.
“You understand me, right?” His voice is steady, soothing, as if he’s worried about how I might react.
I don’t blame him.I’ma little worried about how I might react.
Holding his gaze, I dip my chin in a nod.
“I see,” he says, lips pressing together into a thin line. “I guess that means we’re sticking to yes or no questions for now.” Hereaches out to take my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “That’s fine. We’ll figure it out.”
I thread my fingers through his and return the squeeze, relishing that bit of closeness and connection.
“Are you having trouble talking? Is that why you can’t tell me your name?”
I dip my chin again.
“That makes sense, I guess. You were trapped and wolf form for who knows how long and there’s bound to be some consequences for that.” He blows out a breath, his eyes sliding toward his friend before returning to me, a pained expression on his face. “On that note, I understand that you’ve been through a lot, things I can’t even imagine, but you’re going to have to find a way to get a better handle on your instincts. We’re already in enough danger without adding an uncontrollable wolf to the mix.”
