‘That’s what shadow walking is for,’I said grimly, turning from her to Melek to tell him that he’d have to show me the way to Jann’s rooms.
There was no way I was staying there all night. No fucking way.
The following hour was a blur, and it wasn’t until I’d shrouded Melek all the way to Jann’s apartment that we realized… he couldn’t leave the palace without me. At least, not invisibly.
Another silent argument had ensued—surely this was just more evidence that I needed to be out there and working?—until Melek and I were toe to toe, snarling and screaming in our minds, both of us frantic and angry.
Then my matefroze.
I tensed immediately, whipping my head left and right, looking for the threat. Then jerked back to face Melek when his hand landed on my arm.
His gaze was intense, his emerald eyes pinched with worry.
‘What’s wrong? What happened?’I asked quickly.
‘If this is the last time we speak, I don’t want it to be an argument,’he sent quietly, his voice rough with emotion.
I bristled.‘This isn’t going to be the last time—’
‘Yilan… we are stranded in the city while every citizenhuntsevery enemy—which isus.Our allies are gathered in one place, sitting ducks for the hounds if they find the caverns. Ihaveto warn them. But warning them means leaving you and—’
‘You can’t get out of here unseen without me.’
‘So, I go disguised. I’ll wear one of the merchant cloaks’
‘But—’
“Yilan, there’s no time.” He spoke the words so softly, yet they penetrated through my skin, my ribs, right to my heart. Right through myanger.
He stood over me, his chest rising and falling too quickly, his expression pained. “There’s no time, and no way to make more time. Ihaveto go, and we both know it.”
I stared at him, the wordsso do I,on the tip of my tongue. But he looked so frightened—not for himself, but for me—that I swallowed them back.
I could go find the women and return faster than he would. He wouldn’t even know I’d been gone. He didn’t need to worry about that on top of everything else.
Blowing out a breath, I stepped up to press myself into his chest, nodding.‘Go.’
‘Yilan… you know that I love you more than—’
‘I know. Me too. This isn’t goodbye, Melek. We’re just on another mission. One that takes us in different directions for a matter of hours. That’s all. Go. I’ll be here when you return.’
He cupped my face and lifted my chin, searching my eyes.‘Make sure that you are—please. Yilan… if I lost you…’
Suddenly swallowing the pinch of tears, I shook my head and gripped his waist.‘You aren’t losing me, and I’m not losing you. You’re going to warn our friends—and later, when the hounds are back in their cages, and our enemies have been lulled into a false sense of security, when you and I are back together, we’re going to lead our allies against these sick men—and we’re going towin.’
He nodded his head.‘We can only do that if you stay safe. Here.’
I stroked his chest and face.‘I’m—’
‘No, Yilan… I need you to give me your word that you won’t leave here unless the danger has descended and you’re fleeing it. I need you topromiseme that you’ll leave Gall and Istral to me, and the other women… that you’ll stay here and pray. Because—’
‘Melek, please. You can’t ask me to—’
‘Because if you don’t, I can’t leave—and that means thousands of our allies could die before they’ve even met battle.’
I drew up sharp.‘What?! What are you saying?’
Melek’s gaze was pained. He gripped my face. I gripped his wrists.‘Yilan, don’t you get it—you’re the other half of my heart. Iknowyou. You think you can go. You think you can shadow walk. You think you can warn the women and find your sister—and you think you’ll get back here before I do, so I won’t know.But I do know, and I can’t let it happen. I can’t lose you.Wecan’t lose you for the sake of some spiritualist who’s lost her business. It isn’t fair, but it also doesn’t change. You are a queen, and my mate—Neither of us will survive this without the other. Yilan, youhaveto stay here.’
