He could have told me in our link if he was lying. He could have urged me to be careful with my words, if he worried she’d overhear. He could have done or said so many things, and he didn’t.
I knew his heart was good. I could feel it. But his fear… I worried that his fear might overwhelm the good in him.
If he got desperate, would he betray our friends to keep me and our baby safe? Or was he just fighting the demons he needed to resist?
Would he get there in the end?
I prayed so. I begged God to open his eyes.
Sighing, I placed my hand over his on my stomach, and twined our fingers. Even in his sleep, his grip on me tightened.
Please,I prayed.Give him the strength to win the battle he’s fighting. Don’t let the fear overtake him. He’s struggling. Help… we need help.
26. Honor, My Ass
~ MELEK ~
A few days after we started bringing the troops through to Ebonreach, Jann showed up in the caves again.
We were all tired, but it wasn’t until someone called my name, and Yilan and I turned from a frustrating consultation with Jhonas, that Isawit.
Jann strode through the cavern, the warm light from the torches on the walls flickering and dancing with the movement of the air around so many bodies. However, that light, which would usually light sparks in my friend’s eyes and cast shadows to make him loom, instead crept into the lines on his face. It dulled his hair, and gave shadows to his eyes when he glanced down at Diadre, stumbling along next to him.
We were all exhausted, and we hadn’t even started the battle.
I couldn’t let myself think on what exactly we were trying to achieve, because the sheer weight of it would bury me. But I saw it in my friend’s eyes in that moment. Theimpossiblenature of the attempt to overwhelm a Fallen…
‘Nothing is impossible with God.’
Yilan met my gaze, her eyes kind as she rubbed my arm, and we waited together for our friends to reach us. Jann saluted hurriedly—unnecessary, but I didn’t argue since we were surrounded by fighters from half-a-dozen different armies.
“Sire, I need to speak with you. Alone,” Jann said, his gaze intent.
I looked at Yilan.
‘Diadre says, he just means away from the other fighters. She and I will come too.’
I grunted, then tipped my head towards one of the tunnels. “We have to go back to the city tonight anyway. Why don’t you walk to our camp and we’ll talk there?”
Jann nodded. I apologized to Jhonas and the others, then we all started for the dark tunnel to the east.
When we were finally far enough away to remain out of earshot, Jann leaned closer, his shoulder brushing mine as we walked. He kept his murmurs below the level of our footsteps on the cave floor.
“Rumors are circulating in the city,” he muttered. The girls looked at each other.
“Which ones?”
Jann glanced at me, then back to the tunnel floor, his hand tightening on Diadre’s. “Primarily, unease about Gall. But there’s been a few questions aboutwhyLucifer appointed him.”
The girls both smiled.
I wasn’t as quick to celebrate.
“Any discussions of who might have been a better king?”
Jann shook his head. “I doubt anyone would have the balls to say it out loud, even if they thought it—not as long as Lucifer is so present—However, there’s one thing we hadn’t anticipated. They’re speculating about the Fetch. About thewomen.”
I frowned, and my lungs went cold. “Speculating aboutwhat?”
