“Jann, I’m doing it,” she said firmly, her fingers digging into my shoulders. “I’m a fighter too, and this is the battleground I’ve been given. You and I both know, battle is unpredictable.”
“Unpredictable, yes,” I said through my teeth. “Even so, we also plan what we can, to avoid unnecessary death—”
“There’s no death that’s necessary in this, except maybe some of those fuckingNeph,”she growled like a kitten, shoving out of my arms—which sent my still nervous heart into spasms.
Instinctively, as she tried to crawl off my lap, I grabbed for her. “No.No,Diadre—”
“Let me go!”
“—I’m not going to let you get yourself killed, just to—”
“LET ME GO!”she screamed.
I did as she asked, and she scrambled off my lap to stand on the floor in front of me, eyes blazing, one finger leveled at my chest.
“Fucking Nephilimarrogance!You think because people are afraid of you, you can just do whatever you want. Force your will on anyone. Even me?!”
“You’re talking about going out every night to get yourself killed—while carrying my son!”
“Ourson—he is no less mine than yours, Jannus fucking Half-wit! But what do you want? You want me to sit on this bed, hiding in the dark every moment I’m not at your side?!”
“Yes!”
“You idiot! You can’t win this alone!” she shouted.
“I’ve done every other fucking thing in life alone, and look where it got me—you want me to just sit back and watch you die when I could do something about it?!”I roared.
Diadre flinched, but instead of screaming back at me, she froze. Her eyes went wide and her head jerked back and I leaned forward, ready to grab her if she tried to run.
We glared at each other, but when she spoke, her voice was suddenly quiet…disturbed.
“What are you going to do, Jann?” she asked in a tremulous voice. “Will youhitme if I don’t do as you require? Drag me through the palace by my hair? Turn me loose naked in a room, and let your brothershave me?”
Those words rang in the air like a slap to my face. They were all things we’d witnessed. Ways the Nephilim Advisors had treated their slaves—or threatened to.
“Of course not,” I said hoarsely, half-shamed and half-offended. “I’m trying to protect you!”
She stared at me a moment, then shook her head. “You do protect me. And I need you to—but not from this.”
“You just want me to stand by and let them take you andourson without a fight?”
“Fear isn’t fighting.”
“Neither is stupidity.”
“You think this isstupid?You think I’m a mindless chit who—”
“No.No.I only meant that taking risks that were unnecessary isn’t fighting. It’s just putting yourself in danger.”
“You want to argue about whether deceiving our enemy, to give ourselves a greater chance, isnecessary?”
I scowled, but shook my head. “No. I want to argue about whether that deception should be undertaken by you—you who carry my mate and our son into the battle with you.”
“You carry my mate into battle every day, Jann,” she said quietly. “You think I don’t understand how terrifying that is?”
Something in my chest creaked. I had to look away from her.
She took a step closer. “I’m not pretending that my death is outside the realm of possibility—every soldier has to face their mortality.”
