Diadre bristled, but I smiled.
‘Just think about it.’
18. Time is Ticking
SOUNDTRACK:Heathensby Henri Weaver
~ DIADRE ~
Later that night, I followed Jann through the maze of caverns under the earth, out in the wilderness beyond the city. We’d only slept for an hour after I returned to the bedchamber, before we were woken by Caelan. She’d received a message that more rebels had arrived, and they had news. Jann’s presence was requested by Melek. Which meant I was going too.
He’d tried to leave me behind, but I just put my fists on my hips and glared at him, until he conceded that he wouldn’t want to miss it either.
Luckily, we had the freedom to move around the palace and city as needed—because the Neph all believed Jann followed Lucifer, not Melek. So, Jann wrapped me in a cloak and we launched from the walls, flying south first, in case anyone watched, but once we were among the clouds and couldn’t be seen from a distance, Jann turned and took us north of the cityagain, towards one of the entrances to that network of caves underground.
We used different entrances each time we traveled out here, so it was less likely anyone would find the caves—and different entrances from Melek and Yilan when we met, so we were less likely to be seen together.
But this particular cave was rougher than the others—too narrow and low for Jann to fly us through it and very rough underfoot with loose rock and stalagmites to slow us. Particularly me, with my shorter legs and weakness…
God, I hated that word. But there was no doubt, I was exhausted and achy, and sick in the pit of my stomach.
On Teen’s recommendation, I’d taken to keeping some of the crisp sourdough crackers, and pieces of ginger root in my pockets.
As Jann led me through the dark cave, our only light a small lantern clutched in his other hand, I nibbled on a cracker and prayed my stomach would settle.
I couldn’t stand the taste of ginger root, though I’d learned it was effective.
I hadn’t complained, but Jann noticed that I was slow, and he couldn’t miss my eating. Hehovered.Very anxious, his shoulders tight, and hand gripping mine like a lifeline. He watched every step I took, like any might be a deathtrap.
“You can stop staring,” I muttered around the mouthful of cracker. “I’m fine.”
Jann huffed, but kept his grip on my hand as he helped me hop over a crack in the ground that wasn’t wide, but I didn’t look to see how deep it went. I didn’t want my head to spin and send my stomach into rebellion.
“Hever’s going to be there,” he said suddenly.
I stumbled a step, and Jann immediately whipped me up so I hung from his hand—like a child in her father’s grip, whichmade my cheeks flush. Then he whipped that other hand holding the lantern around my waist andcarriedme a dozen steps, to a point on the path that was smoother, where he set me gently back on my feet.
His eyes were pinched as he looked down at me. “Did you injure yourself? Is there anything—”
“Jann, I was startled. I tripped. That’s all. I’mfine.”
“You are notfine,”he growled. “However, youaremagnificent.” There was a flash of his old warmth, his teasing joy, then it was gone, to be replaced by a grimness. “Telling me if you hurt, or are too sick, isn’t weakness, Diadre. You’d be furious with me if I hid injury or illness from you, and it isn’t only your life at risk anymore…” he trailed off, his free hand dropping to brush my stomach with a tender touch. His eyes softened in a way that made my heart melt, despite my frustration.
I stared up at him, about to chastise him about worrying about more important things—but I suddenlysawhim: Circles under his eyes, so dark they looked like bruises. His face was lined with weariness and worry. Broad shoulders half-hunched, even here where we were alone.
He lookedsoafraid and tired, my stomach clenched for him.
I put one hand up to his jaw, let my nails catch in the stubble there, and made him meet my eyes.
“You’re the one doing too much,” I said quietly. “Carrying too much.”
“There’s no one else to carry it,” he muttered in return. “Besides, I’m not good at sitting aside. I wouldn’t want it another way.”
I snorted. “Neither am I, and you keep trying to make me lay around in bed.”
“You’re having a baby, Diadre. Growing aNephbaby, no less. You’re doing plenty.”
I hated the way my body thrilled and froze in the same moment every time he said that.
