I’d only walked through the empty city streets for two or three blocks, when ahugeroar rose from far ahead, and a jolt of fear from the bond with Jann, made my heart patter nervously.
What the hell was going on? I started to run, but soon staggered back to a walk because my legs were leadweight, and I struggled to catch my breath.
Was Iill?I could run miles before—
The weariness… growing a Neph babe costs your body every resource it possesses…
I stopped. The echoing roar had eased, but not disappeared. Somewhere up ahead, the Nephilim shouted and rumbled. If they caught sight of me, they would kill me, or rape me.
Thatwas the kind of male that lived in this city. That powered this nation.
That was the kind of warrior we fought.
I almost vomited. Half of me wanted to rush to Jann, to find him and be in the circle of his arms, knowing I’d feel safer there. The other half raged that he lived and worked among men who were rightly feared in that way…
I tried to reach for him in my mind again, but still couldn’t. If the Coliseum was as close as I thought, I should have been able to, but I couldn’t reach Yilan either.
Was this place so dark it stunted my power? Or was that the pregnancy, stealing my strength, even in my gifts?
The noise from the Coliseum didn’t stop, but I had stopped walking. My chestburnedwith the knowledge that all my friends and allies were there, facing whatever had happened. Together. They all knew.
And I was here. Stuck. Weak. And ignorant—just waiting for my mate to return and tell me what he decided I should know.
My pride crackled. I had neverwaitedon a man in my life!
A small, still voice niggled in the back of my mind:Notnever.
But I pushed it away. I took another step, resolved that I’d shadow walk to the Coliseum, learn for myself what was occurring, and show them all that I was strong enough to be a part of this, just as they were!
I took two more steps, bracing to pick up my pace despite my tiredness, but something low in my belly pinched. A small pain. A mild cramp. But fear shot through me in a bolt from my belly to my heart, and I froze.
I looked down at myself, at my body, and that tiny voice, a mere whisper, echoed again.
What if Iwaspregnant? What if it wasn’t only my life that I risked?
I stood in the shadows of a stone wall, and for the first time, let myself consider—truly consider—what it meant if a baby grew inside me. A child.Mychild. AndJann’schild.
Tears—equally full of joy and fear—rose to blur my vision. I clapped one hand over my mouth to cover a sob, the other to my belly to hold it safe.
And reluctantly, I turned and started back towards the palace.
I was still angry—seething at the injustice of this place. I’d have words with Jann about it when he returned. But there was wisdom in waiting until we knew for sure before I put myself at risk for the mission. Just one more day, or two.
I could wait that long.
Just to be sure.
15. Can’t Let Go
~ YILAN ~
Still shaking from the shock about Gall, and the terror of what Lucifer had done, I reached for my sister’s mind as we circled over the Coliseum. I had to let her know that I was there, that I’d witnessed that awful—
‘Lani?’
Even in the link, Istral’s voice was tremulous and timid.
‘I’m here. I saw it. All of it. Are you safe?’
