I frowned.
He leaned in close again, his voice quiet, but excited. “I know these things are hard for you—”
My stomach dropped.
“—but that’s why I’ve come to help. I know you, and I can make you stronger. Much,muchstronger. You and Istral. Both of you, together.”
I shook out my hands because my skin tingled. My head was growing full. I was glad it was quiet and dark here. There weretoo many things I didn’t understand, and I needed quiet to think.
Lucifer watched me for a moment, then straightened again, folding his arms. My nerves spiked—was he angry after all? But when he talked, his voice wasn’t sharp.
“Gall, I want you to think back. Your father, yourtruefather—my son, Gault—was king of the Nephilim. The most powerful king they’ve seen in centuries. Because he wasmine.Now, he’s gone, but you’re here to take his crown.”
“But, Papa is king!” I blurted.
Lucifer’s eyes flashed. “Yourtruefather is dead. That’s your fault, Gall.”
I wanted to shrink into the floor with my shame, memories of my father’s thick body, twitching. The hollow coughs and—
I flinched. “Father was wrong. He did lots of wrong things.” Like taking women and hurting men. And ignoring me.
Lucifer sighed. “You’re going to discover that it’s impossible to lead others without doing wrong things. But that’s okay, as long as you do good to make up for it. It’s all about balance, Gall—do you do more good than bad?”
“I… Yes, I think so. But…”
“No buts, Gall. This life is about balance—the balance of light and dark. Good and evil. Weight and relief. Many, many call me evil, but I’m not. I’mpowerful.And power always looks evil to anyone weaker. That’s because sometimes when you’re in power you have to say no, or deny the requests of others. Or even defeat them.Everyonebelieves the person who can tell them “no” is evil. Think about that.”
I tried. But before I could find my own thoughts, he started talking again.
“When you were little, your Papa said no to eating sweets at night and it hurt, didn’t it, Gall?”
“Yes, but—”
“When you were older, Papa said no to drinking too much, or having sex?”
“Only because the women should want—”
“You understand that Melek didn’t saynoto be bad, even if it felt like it hurt at the time?” Lucifer said intently, staring at me. “You can see that, can’t you?”
“Yes!” I said, relieved, because Iknewthat was the right answer for now.
“There have also been times that your Papa has been wrong. Hasn’t there?”
I swallowed, but nodded. “Yes, but he had reasons—”
“Oh really? He lied to you, he took a woman, and now he’s trying to takeyourthrone.”
I squirmed in my seat. “It’s not my—”
“Yes, Gall, it is.” He didn’t raise his voice, but there was a sharp edge that made my stomach tight.
I clenched my shaking hands to fists on my thighs. “No, it’s not. I’m not… I’m notsmartenough. Or… or strong enough to be king. Papa always said—and he’s right—he always said, a Nephilim king has to be ruthless, and strong, and fierce. I am not fierce!” I hated it, but it was true.
I braced for the blow because I’d argued with him, but to my surprise, Lucifer smiled. “You seemed pretty fucking fierce to me when you shoved that spear through your father’s chest.”
My body sizzled with feelings that didn’t match—there was pride in his voice. His smile said he was pleased. Maybe even proud.
But I’d murdered my father and… and even though it was right, because he was going to hurt Yilan and Papa, it didn’t feel good. It felt sick. I could hear the gurgling—
