Gall twitched and growled. One moment he wept, the next he snarled. He muttered words, as if answering a voice in his head, then shook it off and smacked himself.
I wanted to intervene—needed him to stop hurting himself—but I knew that any raised voices or extra stimulation would only escalate him.
I tried to reach him gently. “Gall, I’m here. I’m here for you.”
He snarled and swept one long arm down to grab the halberd again and bring it up, turning to face me with the weapon leveled, though he’d have to throw it to reach me from this distance. I raised my hands again, but stepped in front of Yilan.
“Please, Gall… don’t use that.”
His brow pinched again, and he looked down at the weapon in his hands, following the length of it, then looked at me, fear, awe, thrill, and terror chasing each other across his features.
Our eyes locked, and I saw the battle waging in him—his heart open, grieving, and fearful. Then the sharp, cunning gleam of malice. He closed his eyes again and flinched, but opened them when I took a step forward, and he brought the weapon up again.
“Don’t touch me!”
“I won’t.” I made soothing motions with my hands, and walked slowly to the side, to a position nearer the center of the hall where we had more space. “Gall, listen to me. That argument in your head, it’s notyou.That voice you hear that reminds you of everything he told you, everything you fear, everything that makes you angry? We all have it. That’swhywe have to resist. You have to understand where that voice is coming from. Because it’s lying to you—”
“He tells the truth! He showed me! He made me understand—”
“He spoke to your mind, he changed your body, he offered you power to intoxicate you. Yet, he’s brought more misery and fear into your life than anyone else before.”
“No! No, I was always scared! He made me strong, so I don’t have to be scared!”
“You’re strong now, Gall. Really strong. Are you still afraid?”
Gall frowned, then cursed again and jabbed the halberd towards me. “You’re trying to fool me because you want to be king.”
“Gall, youknowI’ve never wanted to be the King.”
“Then why did you claim the crown? We wouldn’t have to fight if you’d just—”
“I would never have taken a crown that belonged to you. I’d have been the first to bow if you were ruling, Gall. Your heart istrue, and pure, andgood.But that’s not what I see. I see a man who’s being… pushed. I see my son who’s scared, and trying to take care of his mate, when they’re both surrounded by very real danger. I also see—”
“That’s right.” He’d gone suddenly still. My heart sank as Gall took a deep breath and his hands tightened on the halberd and he met my eyes, his own gaze flat. Resolute. “I’m taking care of my mate. Because she’s in danger, and I can save her.”
I raised my hands, to remind him I was surrendered, but shook my head. “Gall… yourgrandfatheris the danger she’s in. If you give him what he wants, there will only bemoredanger—for both of you. Can’t you see?”
“Yes, I can see! I’m not stupid!”
“That wasn’t what I meant! I—”
“You’re the one who doesn’t understand! Everyone admires you because you’re strong, but I’m strong too, and they mock me! Everyone thinks you’re so good because you kill people and win battles, but I kill people and you say I’m being evil!”
“Gall, I wasn’t calling you—”
“You say you’d die for your mate, you lie to help her, and youlie to me!You say you meant well. But when I do it, it’s because I’m bad!”
There was very little of the dark gleam left in Gall’s gaze. He stood in front of me, the halberd in one hand, the other gesticulating wildly, eyes red and chin quivering. I ached for his brokenness, but hope sprang to life because it felt like talking to my son again.
“Gall, you aren’t bad. That’s been my point all along. These things you’re doing… they don’t seem likeyou.Not the you I’ve always known.”
“You think I’m still a child!”
“No. I think you’re a young man with a unique heart and mind, and I want to see you thrive. I want yourewarded.Not… corrupted.”
I didn’t expect him to simply give in. He didn’t seem calm enough to have found the truth he’d grasp and cling to—which was his way. He always battled, until something made sense to him. Then he would hold to that for the rest of his life. I knew he wasn’t there. That we hadn’t gotten to the heart of this yet. So, it was a surprise when he slumped.
The point of the halberd tipped to the stones with a clink. He didn’t let it go, but it drew his eyes.
