“Is that why you’re so upset? Because you believe his lies?” There was an angry tremor in his voice, like he was barely controlling himself. She could see it in the way he indented the cushiony armrest with his finger pads.
She stared down at her hands, lacing her fingers together to keep from picking at something, particularly the bandages he had so carefully wound over the injury. His hand rested atop hers and she froze. Ever so slowly, he lifted his hand and grazed his knuckles across her jaw. Time slowed, and a ripple ofsensation followed in the wake of his touch. Her gaze collided with his. Beyond his rage, there was tenderness. A heated look on the precipice of desire and fury. Balanced, and yet tipping precariously.
Her breath wrenched from her chest in a shallow gasp as he took a lock of her hair and twisted it between his fingers. Their eyes remained locked.
“The colors of this world are faded without you. This palace, this court, this room … is bleak and black and dreary. But you? You light everything up with shades I have never seen before.” His voice came out like a secret, something forbidden that should never be revealed to the outside world. “So don’t believe a word out of that bastard Wu Jian’s mouth. Do you hear me? He knows nothing about you.”
The words drove into her heart like an arrow, piercing through the armor she had painstakingly erected around it. Her throat tightened, her chest rising. She didn’t trust herself to speak. She could only stare at him. She wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him. To laugh and cry. To feel his strong hands on her hips.
She lit up the world.
It was such a simple concept, and yet it sounded so foreign to her.Biyu? Lighting uphisworld? It sounded so foreign and outrageous. The idea that she could bring colors to his world. That she was seen as something more than a nuisance, more than an enemy. Her chest squeezed painfully.
Nikator rubbed a thumb over her lips. A current jolted through her.
Biyu inched closer tentatively; she waited for him to push her away, for cruel words to slip from his mouth—why would you think I’m interested in you in that way? But he didn’t do anything, only peered down at her with those burning eyes. Theyconsumed her until all she saw was the depths of deep blue. Scorching her soul. Warming her flesh.
A tendril of need twirled over her chest, tightening her at the seams, wantingmorefrom him than just pretty words.
Biyu reached forward and touched his cheek. He closed his eyes and breathed in shakily—like he too was barely able to control himself, and yet he remained unmoving. He gently placed a hand over hers, leaning into her touch, and murmured, “You don’t want to do this, princess.”
“Why not?”
“Because I am not kind.”
She couldn’t rip her gaze away, nor could she will herself to remove her hand still pressed against his face. Everything within her told her to close the distance between them, and crush her mouth to his. To taste him. To finally learn what it felt like to be held by someone, to be touched like that.
But fear reeled her back. He was her enemy. He ruined her life. He killed her family members. He … he was everything she couldn’t have.
Nikator carefully removed her hand and placed it back on her lap. “I’ll be guarding from outside.”
Without another word, he picked up the empty plate and bag, and headed toward the exit. Biyu couldn’t speak, her mortification rising. When the door shut with a soft click, she buried her flaming face in her hands. She had made an utter fool out of herself. Why had she thought about kissing him? Not to mention the utter chaos he had witnessed from her meltdown.
Thatmust have been the reason why he didn’t want to guard her in her room anymore, because she was crazy, volatile, and likely too boring. Her behavior today probably reinforced that idea.
But still, she couldn’t get his words out of her head.
The colors of this world are faded without you.
19
The library smelled clean,floral, and with a hint of incense, but the deeper areas still smelled like old parchment, wood, and vanilla—an amalgamation of smells that brought back memories from her childhood. And, unfortunately, the day when she had snuck in here and Nikator had found her. That day felt like forever ago, even though it had only been a few short weeks. So much had happened in that brief span. A month ago, she would have never though she would be sitting at one of the tables, with a handful of scrolls in front of her, and Minos, Vita, and Nikator seated around her with their own stack of literature.
Nikator had thought it was a good idea to research on how to break the marriage bond—or more like curse—and for some reason, Vita and Minos had tagged along since, in Minos’s words, “Four heads are better than two.”
It had been over an hour of reading, none of them really speaking. Biyu unfurled her current scroll and scanned the contents for something deadly. Truthfully, she didn’t want to break the marriage bondyet. The longer they were bound together, the more likely that whole can of worms would be revealed, and the more prolonged her punishment for using magic. But shedidneed to find a lethal spell.
Her efforts thus far, however, had proved to be futile. Most of the scrolls were about historical events, war, the study of magic, philosophy, etc. The spells that she did encounter were useful but also useless in her current dilemma. Spells for laundering, spells for water manipulation, spells for healing scrapes, and many more.
Nikator unfurled his scroll. The entire time, he seemed to be avoiding her. She could only imagine why—she had acted irrationally the day before, she had leaned in as if to kiss him, and she was absolutely unstable. No wonder he wanted to keep his distance and rid himself of the marriage bond as quickly as possible.
Minos flicked through the leather-bound book in front of him, his blue eyes glossing over the tiny, cramped words. A frown twisted his lips and he squinted at a diagram. She could see everything on his page since she was seated in front of him; next to her was Vita, and across from her was Nikator.
When Minos raised his head, their gazes caught. A sly grin curved up his lips. He propped an elbow on the table and rested his cheek on his closed fist.
“Bored?” he asked.
Biyu blinked quickly and averted her attention back to the scroll. “No.”
