They held each other’s gazes for a beat longer and Nikator nodded. “I’m sorry, Biyu.”
“All is forgiven.”
“But I don’t want you risking yourself for me ever again.”
She rolled her eyes. Typical of him. “All right, all right.”
“You don’t sound convincing.”
She giggled and fell back against the cushions, her eyes shutting closed. She didn’t want to argue with him that she most definitely would try to get in the way again if she suspected they were in trouble, and he would likely do the same, so she continued with, “What will you do now, Nik? I’m sure Muyang told you that I’ve been exiled. He hasn’t told me when I’ll have to leave, but I’m assuming soon.”
A darkness fell over her heart at the mention of it, and a bitterness coated her mouth. She didn’t want to think about what would happen next, but it was inevitable. She would have to leave this empire, and he … he would probably stay here, continue working for Muyang, and then … then they would reunite again after a decade. Her chest squeezed painfully, and she was sure he could feel it through the bond.
She should be grateful that they had a chance to be together. But the selfish part of her wanted more.
How strange it was that when she thought she had lost him, she would have given anything for another moment with him. And now that she had this moment, she wanted more, and more, andmore.
It would never be enough.
Nikator’s fingers slowed in their task of removing the bits of glass, pebbles, and whatever other material had jabbed into her feet. “Muyang told me all about it. Apparently, we’re to leave in a week. On the bright side, he said we’re free to come back for special occasions, secretly of course, but we can’t live here anymore. I was thinking we could go to Sanguis for a bit.”
Her eyes flew open. “We?”
His mouth quirked up in a smirk. “Did you really think I would let you leave by yourself now?”
She blinked at him, the words sinking in slowly, and she inhaled sharply when he didn’t laugh or deny it. “You’re coming with me?”
“Only if you’ll have me.”
She threw her hands around his neck and pulled him even closer, a giddy laugh bubbling from her chest. All she really managed to do was smother his face in her breasts. “You should have told me sooner. What changed?”
“Careful,careful. Your feet?—”
“I don’t care about my feet!” She released him just enough so she could smile toothily at him. “We should explore together. Travel a bit until we find a place to settle down for a few years. Oh, and children—what are your thoughts of them?”
He opened his mouth to answer, but she was already continuing, “I want a few, you know. Oh, and a cozy home. Maybe in a forest? Or maybe the mountainside? Oh! What about one near an ocean? I’ve always wanted to overlook something as vast and sparkling as the sea. Or maybe—maybe we can—” She continued to babble and he went back to applying salve to herfeet and binding them. His brow occasionally shot up, as did the twitch on his lips, but he otherwise listened to her. Patiently. Wordlessly. Taking it all in.
“Well?” she asked.
“Hm?” He admired his work; her feet were now neatly bandaged up.
“What do you think? About everything I said?”
Nikator traced a path from her ankle up to her knees, slowly, deliberately. A trail of heat coiled in her belly. “Whatever you want, Biyu. If you want children, we’ll have them. If you want to live in the seaside, the mountains, a forest—whatever it is, I’ll give it to you.”
“But do you want children? It’s a big decision, a big responsibility. I don’t want you to have children with me just because I want it?—”
“Yes,” he said quietly. “With you, I want everything.”
Her cheeks warmed.
He wove his fingers into hers and dropped their joined hands on her lap. His gaze never left hers. “I want everything with you. I want to create a home with you. I want to have a family with you. I want a life with you, Biyu.”
Unexpected tears stung her eyes. She didn’t want to cry so much, and yet she couldn’t help it. Maybe it was because she had thought she would never have a chance at something like this—happiness. But now that he was here, alive, breathing, and wanting the same as her, she could indulge in the fantasy. The hopefulreality.
She cupped his face, smiling softly. “I want the same, Nik.”
Her heart picked up in pace at the way he stared up at her—like he was staring at a sky full of glittering stars. Ever so carefully, he grasped a strand of her hair and wound it between his fingers. All the unspoken words raced between them in that moment. The pain, the grief, the relief, the joy, thelove.
