She laughed at the expression on my face and asked me to get into the exam position. A few minutes later, the room was filled with the sound of a rapid heartbeat, and I felt my face melt into a smile as relief flooded me. I hadn’t realized how nervous I was.
“That’s your baby.” She pointed at the blurry little bean on the screen with a satisfied smile. “The baby is measuring at about seven weeks, like we estimated, would you like a picture?”
“Yes.” I nodded emphatically.
The rest of the appointment continued while I stared at the frozen image of my future on the screen.
“If you don’t have any questions then we will see you back in about four weeks.” She said.
“Oh…” I snapped out of my little daze and blushed, “I’m going through a divorce, and it turns out… I-I need an STD panel.” The last part was barely a whisper.
“Hey…” she said softly, and I lifted my eyes to hers, “That’s not a problem and is nothing for you to be embarrassed about. They’ll take some blood and call you with the results in a few days.”
“Okay. Thank you.” I murmured and gave her a sad smile. She returned it with a warm one of her own and squeezed my hand gently.
· · - ·?· - · ·
When I stepped out of the doctor’s office, I felt lighter than I had in days. The baby was healthy, and, in a few days, I’d know if I had anything to worry about from Ben’s activities.
I climbed into my mother’s car and checked my phone for any messages. Unsurprisingly, there was nothing. Griffin had gone home last night after we returned from the lawyers, and I had told him to return the rental car because my mother and father each had a car, and my brother had rented one for the duration of his visit. He had sent me a text last night letting me know he’d arrived back in Seattle, but I hadn’t heard from him since. Not that I’d expected to; he’d already given me enough of his time.
Unfortunately, the only person I had heard from was Ben. He had called Kyle’s phone right before I left for my appointment, and Kyle had been more than happy to inform him that I wasn’t available but that he’d love to have a chat. Apparently, Ben had quickly ended that phone call. I wondered how many more times he’d try if each time Kyle answered with open hostility.
I glanced in my rear-view mirror at the storm clouds that were rolling closer to town and sighed. It was probably best to be off the road before the rain arrived.
The drive to my Gram's house, where Kyle and Mom were waiting for me, was a quick one. Despite the years away, I still knew the streets like the back of my hand. While we had grown up in a little cul-de-sac, Gram’s house had been set at the end of a more private road where she was one of three houses. As the front porch that we had watched many summer storms oncame into sight, a familiar calm settled over me. Growing up, this home had been a lighthouse and Grams… well, she was a safe harbor from any storm. Despite the heaviness in my heart, I knew that nothing but love and comfort was waiting for me past that door.
As if they could hear my thoughts, the front door opened, and my mother stepped onto the porch with a concerned expression on her face. She had wanted to go with me to my appointment and was disappointed when I told her that it was something I felt I needed to do alone. While I didn’t want Ben to know about this pregnancy yet, I didn’t feel it was appropriate to give moments that he was missing away to others. I gave her a little wave and gathered my purse before quickly joining her.
“How did it go?” she asked. I pulled out one of the three little pictures they had printed for me and handed it to her.
“Meet your grandchild.” I giggled at how quickly her face morphed into an expression of adoration.
“Oh! How precious!” she cooed.
“It looks like a blob...” Kyle remarked over her shoulder, and she shushed him. He looked mildly amused and rolled his eyes. “So, all good?” he turned his attention to me.
“Yes, lil blob is approximately seven weeks along and healthy.” I realized one of my hands had gone to my belly.
“That’s wonderful!” Our mother exclaimed gleefully. As I watched her absorb every detail on the blurry picture, I realized that this grandchild was going to help her heal fromthe loss of Gram. There wasn’t anything that would fully heal the wound of losing a loved one, but the excitement of a new life joining us had already started to soften the ache in our hearts.
· · - ·?· - · ·
“So, sis… what’s the plan with Ben?” Kyle asked me as we sorted through Gram's extensive book collection.
“The prenup is very thorough. I’m completely protected, especially because of his cheating ways.” I felt a tinge of heat in my throat as flashes of the video footage came to mind.
“How… I don’t know how to word this.” Kyle grimaced, “how BAD were his ‘cheating ways’?”
“We found over a dozen NDA’s that were signed by random women going back years. As far as we could tell he’d been cheating the entire marriage.” I admitted. “He had a secret property in Vegas, and there was video footage of him sleeping with other women.”
“What the fuck?” Kyle paled.
“I got tested today.” I mumbled. Suddenly, frustration bubbled up inside me at the audacity of the man I had married. “I just don’t understand how he could do this… and I don’t understand why I’m the one left feeling embarrassed for HIS actions. If he didn’t want to be monogamous why the fuck did he stay with me?”
“I don’t know… I’m struggling to picture the version of him you’re describing. He seemed so obsessed with you.” Kyle sat down against one of the bookcases and cursed quietly. “Fuck, he was my oldest friend… practically a brother… and now I feel like I didn’t even know him. I trusted him with you.”
I nodded and sat next to him. “I get it. I’m not ready to hear his side yet but I’ve been asking myself the same questions. I keep going back through my memories with him and I still don’t think I missed any red flags. I can't help but wonder, did he ever actually love me? Or did he come home at night and just laugh at how gullible and stupid his little housewife was?”
