“They need us to come home.”
“I-I don’t think I can just leave right now…” Ben stuttered.
“Peter said he’d make it work.” I snapped. I was starting to get very angry about how unsupportive Ben was being. “This is the same woman who helped pay for our wedding, who paid for a whole semester of your schooling…of course we have to fly home!”
“We will talk about it when I get home. I’ll make some calls and see what I can do.” Ben said in a soothing tone.
“You do that.” I hissed and hung up.
What the fuck is his problem?
I retrieved our luggage from the office closet and went to my room to pack. I tossed Ben’s luggage on the bed but didn’t bother filling it for him.
He can pack his own shit this time if he manages to “see what he can do”.
I decided to pack for a week. I wasn’t sure how long making arrangements took, but I knew I wasn’t coming home until Grandma was laid to rest. When I went into the bathroom to pack my toiletries, I realized that I was still crying. While I had been making mental lists and filling my suitcase, my tears had kept flowing.
I had just finished putting together my toiletry bag when Ben came running into the bedroom looking disheveled and with tears running down his own face.
“Baby…” he whispered and wrapped his arms around me.
We both stood there and sobbed together.
· · - ·?· - · ·
I should have known that Ben was lying when he told me that an important client was coming to town and that he couldn’t reschedule them.
I should’ve known because the man I THOUGHT I was married to would’ve been sitting beside me on the plane no matter what. If it had actually beenjusta client, he would’ve told them to reschedule or find someone else.
I had been too angry and too heartbroken to dissect his lies.
All I had cared about was getting to my family.
So, when he gave his flimsy excuses and begged for my understanding, I had simply nodded and canceled his ticket.
When he cried while he drove me to the airport, I comfortedhim.
When he kissed me goodbye and told me he loved me, Ibelieved him.
· · - ·?· - · ·
The week had flown by, between staying strong for my mother, dealing with extended family, feeling sick every day, and barely hearing from Ben, I was ready to fall apart by the time the last guest had left.
I had planned on staying until the reading, but all day there’d been a feeling, like bugs crawling under my skin, that told me I needed to get home.
I promised my mother I would return soon and frantically packed a carry on.
She had been understandably shocked when I told her that I was leaving the same day that we buried my grandmother, but she also understood that I really needed to be with my husband.
What she didn’t understand was why my husband hadn’t been by my side for the last four days. She was too polite to say it out loud, but I could see the questions in her eyes.
Unfortunately, it was something that I too hadn’t understood, until I found myself standing on my back deck watching himscrew another woman on a Thursday night in MY fucking hot tub.
· · - ·?· - · ·
I stood frozen for several moments, unable to tear my eyes away as their kissing turned to heavy petting. I felt my heart crumble into dust when his hand disappeared under the water; she let out a porn-worthy moan. He groaned and mumbled something I couldn't hear as she reached into the water to grab him as well.
I continued to watch as he tore his lips from hers, lifted her above him, and slammed her down onto his lap with a feral growl I thought belonged to me. I cataloged the moment when her eyes rolled back at the rough invasion, a new core memory filed away amongst the wreckage.
