Prologue
I had never understood the concept of 'morbid fascination' until the moment I witnessed my husband break our wedding vows. But the only way to describe my inability to look away as the man I loved trailed his lips down the neck of another and ran his tongue along the top of her breast was 'morbid fascination'.
She was a beautiful woman, blonde, tall, and thin, with very enhanced breasts. Meanwhile, I was a natural redhead, 5'5, shaped like a stout hourglass, and a complete idiot because until that moment, I had never doubted my husband's love for me.
I was supposed to be with my family in North Dakota for the week, but I had returned early because I wasn't feeling well. I stayed just long enough to bury my grandmother, then I rushed home to L.A. because I needed my husband. I never expected I’d find him in our hot tub, naked, with another woman.
I stood frozen for several moments, unable to tear my eyes away as their kissing turned to heavy petting. I felt my heart crumble into dust when his hand disappeared under the water;she let out a porn-worthy moan. He groaned and mumbled something against her lips that I couldn't hear when she reached into the water to grab him.
I should have turned away. Should have spared myself the pain of watching my husband take pleasure in another woman, but I didn’t.
I watched as he tore his lips from hers, lifted her above him, and slammed her down onto his lap with a low growl. A sound that I thought belonged only to me. I noted the moment when her eyes rolled back at the rough invasion, a new core memory filed away amongst the wreckage where my cherished memories of my marriage had been.
Her eyes blinked open, dazed by pleasure, pleasure that morphed into recognition when our eyes met. My body began to shake as tears streamed down my face, and my opportunity to escape without facing them slipped away.
She shrieked, "Benji!" and tried to cover her breasts. The smug look on her face was all the confirmation I needed that she knew he was married, knew who I was, and knew what she was doing.My husband twisted his head to look over his shoulder at what had caused her feigned horror.
Unlike the bouncing bimbo on his lap, my husband's horror was sincere.His mouth dropped open in shock, his eyes widened, and his face paled as his body tried to pump his blood back to his brain.
Everything froze; thump-thump—one heartbeat—thump-thump—two heartbeats—thump-thump—three heartbeats.Then he came to his senses with a choked roar and shoved her off his lap. He rose at the same moment my own senses returned to me, and the sight of his slowly deflating erection sent a wave of nausea through me.
I turned and raced for the nearest bathroom, ignoring him as he yelled my name. I could hear her calling after him as his feet pounded across the floors. I slid into the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet before my meager lunch came back up. For the last few days, I hadn’t been able to keep more than a few crackers down, but I had hoped that the soup and grilled cheese I had on the plane would break the puking streak.
"Melanie..." his voice came from the doorway, quiet and unsure.
"Go." I croaked out before heaving again.
"Are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" I snapped.
"Benji..." Her voice joined the chaos, annoyed yet melodic.
"Not now, Angela." He hissed.
"Of fucking course her name is Angel—Lucifer was one too," I muttered to myself. I knew I wasn’t making any sense, but my head was spinning, and my life was falling-no, had fallen apart before my eyes.
"Baby..." he sounded pained as he inched into the bathroom.
"NO!" I screamed.
I raised my head to look at him. He had pulled on a pair of pants but hadn't finished buttoning them. His shirt was missing, revealing the hickeys on his chest.
How had he planned on hiding those?
"Please let me help you," he pleaded, "let me explain."
"Benji!" Angela's voice was sharper this time, heavy with her unspoken demands as she boldly stepped into my line of sight. Her previously naked body was covered only by a wrinkled button-up shirt.
Found his shirt.
"Angela, go home!" he commanded and spun to glare at her.
"You said..." she started, her eyes flashing with rage.
"Not now."
"No, please... let her finish." I sat up and flushed the toilet. I rose to my feet slowly and lowered the lid to sit on it. "I'd love to know what my husband said."
