Not to Randall.Not to anyone.
She's mine now.
I'm supposed to be figuring out my life post-Army.Building a career.Finding some kind of normal.Getting involved with a woman who's running from an abusive Special Forces operator is the opposite of normal.
But I don't care.
I've spent fifteen years following orders.Doing what I was told.Putting the mission first.And where did it get me?A medical discharge, a bum leg, and an apartment in the middle of nowhere while I figure out what the hell to do with the rest of my life.
Carla is the first thing that's made sense in months.
Maybe the first thing that's ever made sense.
She stirs, and I feel her tense.She's waking up.Realizing where she is.I wait for her to pull away.To put those walls back up that she's so good at building.
But she doesn't.
Instead, she turns in my arms and looks at me.Her eyes are sleepy, unguarded.Beautiful.
"Hey," I say.
"Hey."She bites her lip."So.That happened."
"Yeah.It did."
"Any regrets?"
"No."I brush a strand of hair away from her face."You?"
She's quiet for a moment, and I can see her thinking.Weighing.Deciding whether to tell me the truth or give me some line that'll let her keep her distance.
"No," she says finally."No regrets."
Relief hits me harder than it should.
"Good," I say.
"But Timothy, I don't know what this is.I don't know what we're doing."
"We're figuring it out."
"That's not an answer."
"It's the only one I've got right now."I pull her closer."I'm not letting you go back to your apartment alone.I'm not letting Randall get anywhere near you.And I'm not pretending last night didn't mean something."
"What did it mean?"
"Everything."
She stares at me, and I can see the fear in her eyes.Not of me.Of this.Of letting herself believe it's real.
I cup her face."I want to know everything, Carla.What makes you laugh.What you dream about.What you want out of life.All of it."
"I don't know what I want anymore."
"Then we'll figure that out too."
She's quiet again, and then she kisses me.Soft.Tentative.Like she's testing whether this is real or if it'll disappear the second she lets herself believe in it.
