She paused, drew in a deep breath, then let it out, her eyes weary. “I made your father promise to stay away, so that you wouldn’t be tempted to join him in Foreia. I wanted you to have a normal life away from magic and danger. I wanted you to grow up strong, not like me.”
My world titled on its axis. All the blame I’d placed on my father suddenly meaningless.
“Mom, you’re saying you made him stay away?”
Chapter 17
Ellie
All the years of blaming my father for abandonment, not wanting to see him because he couldn’t care enough to even visit on my birthday, and it was my mother’s fault?
“Don’t blame Mandy, honey,” my father said quietly. “I didn’t like it, but I saw the wisdom in keeping my distance. The Djinn are Dark. You know that. As the Sarqua, the leader of our people, my life is filled with danger.” He scowled at Jonas, who squirmed in his seat. “In fact, if anyone had conferred with me before your visit here now, I’d have denied you access.”
“We didn’t have a choice.” Jonas sounded defensive.
“No, we didn’t,” my mother agreed. “I could sense, from looking at Cadmus, that we needed to leave our world at once. One of us would have died had we stayed.”
“Be that as it may, the point is that life is fraught with danger. Though my life has more than its share, my magic gives me an edge. But Ellie, until you accept your Darkness, you’ll forever be vulnerable to attack.”
I remained silent. I had too much to process. Guilt, worry, anger. I’d treated my father wrongly, allowed my mother’s worries to color my attitude and suffered in my relationships because of it. Cadmus was the one I needed now, the one man, the one relationship, I hadn’t failed.
I stood, determined to talk with him, if nothing else. He was an objective viewpoint, something I needed very much right now.
“Ellie.” My mom looked as if she wanted to stop me.
“Let her go.” Ethim stopped her from rising. “Give her some space.” He nodded to Jonas.
I ignored them and left the building behind, winding down several sets of stairs as I walked toward two guards I’d seen earlier. “I’d like to see Cadmus Storm.”
They looked at each other then over my shoulder in question.
I glanced back to see Jonas shadowing my steps. Irritation flickered. “What are you, my guard dog?”
He ignored me. “Bring Cadmus.”
“But Jonas.” One of the guards frowned.
Jonas nodded to the other. “Take Ellie to the pavilion. Ellie, I’ll be with you shortly with Cadmus.”
He left to talk to the other guard, a scowl growing on his face. Then he disappeared, shimmering to God-knew-where.
I walked despondently behind the large Djinn leading me into the forest along a trail.
How the hell could my mother have lied to me for so many years? It wasn’t so much that she’d lied. I understood the pain of the heart’s betrayal. Having Cadmus lash at me that first time had made me want to hide away and not come out. It’s what made facing the continued love I felt for him so frightening.
No, what bothered me the most were the terrible thoughts and feelings I’d attributed to a father who had, by all appearances, not wanted to be with me. Who knew better than I did that appearances could be deceiving? Ethim had held fast to my mother’s pledge to make my life a better, safer one, and so had kept his distance.
Great, now I feel guilt for an absentee father on top of lust for a man I can’t have. And I’m pissed at my mother, a woman who couldn’t hurt a fly. I’m just batting a thousand today.
I tripped over a tree root and fell into my guide.
He glanced back. “You okay?”
“Fine.” How had my boring life suddenly turned into this?
As if this emotional roller coaster weren’t bad enough, a burning sensation kept distracting my. Foreia kept calling to me. I knew I should answer, yet I couldn’t. I didn’t plan on being here that long. In just a few days, I’d return to Seattle.
If I heeded Foreia’s call, I could probably kiss normalcy goodbye. Hell, a few days with Cadmus and I’d been feeling the burn of sunlight at home. One kiss from the Dark magic here and I’d probably start burning in truth.
