“Yeah.”
She studied him, keying in on his lack of enthusiasm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m happy for him.”
“Mack, we’re friends, remember? You can tell me stuff you can’t tell them. And who am I going to tell? Jed? Shannon?”
“You could tell Mike. I don’t know how trustworthy that kid is.” He chuckled. “But Sam likes me. I could tell.”
“She’s a girl. Of course she likes you,” Cass said wryly. “Come on. I’m listening.”
He pushed his half-empty plate away and sipped his juice. “I don’t want to tell you. Because I’ll sound petty, and I hate petty.”
“Oh, the poster boy for Station 44 is less than perfect! Do tell.”
He shot her a look. She arched her brows.
Mack sighed. “Fine. My cheek hurts. I’m tired because I had a tough time getting to sleep without someone to snuggle with.” He glanced at her, saw her blush, and gave a sad smile. “But I think I’m a really bad friend, and that hurts.”
“What?”
“I don’t like lying. I do my best not to lie to myself especially. I’m not digging Tex getting engaged, and I don’t know why. I mean, I love the guy. I want him to be happy, but I’m also bummed.” He ran a hand through his hair, and the unkempt look only made him sexier. “Tex is a great guy. Seriously. The way Jed is your brother? Brad, Tex, and Reggie are mine. We’re closer than I am with my own family.”
She wanted to ask him about that but didn’t think it the time. So she watched him and said nothing.
“I’ve been friends with them for nearly four years. We do everything together. Sure, they’ve all dated. I’ve dated. Women come and go. But not like this. Brad is having a kid with Avery. That’s serious. Reggie’s engaged to a woman with a little girl. They live together. They have a dog.”
She nodded.
“Tex has always been this tall, sarcastic ass. I love him. He’s like the holder-on to being single. And he’s going to ask Bree to marry him. I don’t know. It just hit home for me. We’re all moving on.” He paused. “They’re all moving on. But I’m holding them back.”
“How?” That she didn’t understand. He’d mentioned before he thought they pitied him, but she didn’t see it. That night when Tex had been out with them, he hadn’t seemed to be there just for Mack. He’d been having a great time with all of them, Jed especially.
“I think I’m taking too much of their time. I need to get more involved in my own hobbies so they don’t always have to invite me to spend time with them. I’m that third wheel when Tex and Bree go to a concert. Or the guy who’s on Emily’s team—she’s six, by the way—when Reggie and Maggie have me over. Or the one who has to sit through yet another blind date when Avery tries to find me a plus-one when Brad’s expected to go to some event of hers and I tag along so he’s not bored.”
“You think they pity you because you’re single?”
“Yeah.” He sighed. “Oh man. I suck. I didn’t mean to burden you with my crap.”
“No, we’re friends, and that’s what friends do.” She was surprised to find how much she liked him baring himself. Not making himself look so good as he opened up about feeling jealous. Even selfish. That imperfection made her like him that much more. “God, Mack. You’re human. Give yourself a break.”
“Huh?”
“Everyone feels jealous now and then. It’s perfectly normal not to like change, especially when something has been working for you. You and your friends are the perfect bros. You like each other. You trust each other. And then they start moving away, little by little, sharing their lives with other people. If you didn’t love them so much, it wouldn’t hurt so much.”
“I guess.”
“I was kind of lucky with Jed. I met him already married and with kids. He came with the whole package. That still doesn’t mean it’s not hard when they do holidays or dinners or date nights and want me to come. Because, like you, it’s always Jed and Shannon…oh, and Cass. But with me, they know better than to set me up on blind dates.”
“Lucky you.” Mack watched her, his gaze intense. “I just don’t know why I’m so down after Tex shared such happy news. I feel bad that I feel bad. I was so happy when Brad found Avery. And even when Reggie finally got his head out of his ass and grabbed onto Maggie. I like these women a lot. I love Bree with Tex. I don’t know. It’s just not like it was before, me being happy for them. I feel like an asshole.”
“Good.”
He glared. “Real nice.”
“I mean it’s good that you’re aware of your feelings. You’re in touch with your wants and needs, Mack. Mentally and emotionally healthy people feel that way.”
He stared. “How do you know all this?”
