“Not true.” His dad scowled. “I love all my boys the same.”
“Yeah? Then why didn’t you come to my probie graduation, Dad?”
“That was four years ago!”
“So?”
“Bud Jackson retired. Thirty-five years on the force, Mack. What did you want me to do?”
“I don’t know. Put me first?” Because for damn sure he’d been there to see all three of Mack’s older brothers graduate from the Police Academy. “I’m a grown man. I have a house, make my own money, have my own job. It might not be what you wanted for me, but it’s whatIwant for me. I’m a firefighter in the city of Seattle, for God’s sake. People are on waiting lists to join up. Did you know that?”
His father shook his head. “Mack, you’re taking this the wrong way. We’re proud of you.”
“So proud you didn’t ask more than how Brad and the guys were doing before jumping into James’s next case or Alec’s last requal at dinner? Hell, even Sasha’s 911 calls are more interesting to you guys than anything I do. And she’s not even your daughter!”
Okay, that pettiness had poured out despite him wanting to keep it locked up.
“You don’t like Sasha?” His dad frowned. “She’s a lovely girl.”
“Yeah, she is, but she’s not the point. You are. You and Mom and your three sons. I never seem to count.”
“So you want my attention, is that it?” his dad asked, nodding. “Mack, it’s not easy to be the youngest.”Condescending much?
“Fuck me, you’re not listening.”
His mother scowled. “Watch your mouth.”
“Or what? You’ll strike me from the family Christmas card? The one you send out each year that lists my brothers’ and father’s and mother’s many accomplishments, with one line about me still fighting fires?” He snorted, glad to see her blush. “Yeah, I read last year’s. And the year before that. You guys probably think this is stupid, that I’m making a big deal out of nothing.”
“You are,” his dad said plainly.
“Am I?” He turned to James. “You heard all of it. You sat there, and you laughed and asked Cass more about her day-to-day than you ever ask me about mine. I’m proud of Cass and what she does. I’m also proud of what I do, but no one seems to care.” And hearing that, he knew they would only remember this as Mack not getting enough attention.
Hell, he was veering off in a direction he hadn’t wanted to go.
“You know what? Forget about the dinner. Forget Cass. This is about so much more than that dinner,” he insisted. “You hate that I don’t toe the party line, doing whatever you tell me to. That’s why I get the subtle punishments, the exclusions, the last-minute invitations,” he said to his mother, who blushed. “And it’s not just this past Thanksgiving. I’m talking about the Halloween party you guys forgot to invite me to. And the anniversary party for your police retirement, Dad, this summer. Really? You only remembered I wasn’t on the guest list the day before?” He’d been lucky they’d had space on the yacht they’d rented.
His dad flushed. “Now, Mack, I didn’t know if you’d feel comfortable attending. You seem to hate law enforcement.”
“That’s crap, Dad,” James said before Mack could, shocking the heck out of Mack. “I told you to invite him or it would cause hurt feelings.”
“Yeah, hurt feelings,” Mack agreed, feeling them all over again knowing his father had almost intentionally not invited him. “I’m saying it. My bad for not telling you, for years, how I feel. Well, now you know. You guys hurt my feelings all the time. Go ahead, Dad. Call me a weakling for showing emotion. And Mom, you sit there and say nothing, the way you always do. Because it’s all about being strong. Army wife, Army life. Police living is hard. Yeah, I know. I can never forget it. I’m proud of all of you and all you’ve done. I’m not bitter about my Blue family. But I’m tired of being forgotten. If that’s the case, why don’t we all save ourselves the hassle and I’ll stop coming to events and holidays? I can be the estranged son and uncle you see at funerals and the occasional wedding.”
He stood up, breathing hard, in the silence.
James wouldn’t meet his eyes.
His mother looked hurt and furious, and his father seemed not to care.
“Mackenzie, you are just wrong.” She stood, walked over to him, and poked him in the chest, tears in her eyes. “So wrong.” Then, as usual when confronted with something she didn’t like, she walked away.
“I’m out of here.” He turned and left, not surprised when no one stopped him.
He’d said his piece, and he was proud he’d stood up for himself.
But still, it hurt. It hurt a lot.
Chapter Twenty-Three
