Mack sighed. “This is not going to go well for me, is it?”
“No, it isn’t.”
The rest of their day passed in a wild litany of cases, no doubt due to the promise of a full moon. In between a few bouts of allergic reactions gone bad and two cardiac arrests, they had a young boy with a Lego stuck in his ear—in an effort to block out his father’s snoring—and a man in his twenties who’d broken his ankle while falling, having tried to jump from his roof to the next-door neighbor’s roof, just for something fun to do.
But none of that beat the old man who’d broken both of his legs while falling down a flight of stairs, drunk. They’d had to cut his pants off him to assess his injuries and found a large zucchini strapped to his thigh.
“I’m so trying that before I go out on my next date,” Mack was saying as the gang sat around the living area in the station, all of them recovering from the craziness at three a.m. on Wednesday morning.
Tex snorted. “A zucchini, huh? Better than a carrot, I guess.”
Reggie tried to quell more laughter, but he couldn’t help it. The affront on the drunk guy wouldn’t leave him. “Oh man. That guy was cracking me up. He insisted that we swear not to share his secret. Apparently the key to finessing women is a garden vegetable. I don’t think I stopped laughing through the drive and even after we dropped him off.”
Mack agreed, his grin wide. “It was brutal. The dude was drunk out of his mind, strapped in on the way to the hospital, and telling me all about his love life. Guy had some kind of game. The things he told me about his lady friends have scarred me for life.”
Reggie snickered. “Talk about a wild night.”
“Oh, we can top that.” Brad laughed.
“Bring it,” Mack ordered.
Tex shook his head. “You think you guys got the wacky ones, Brad and I helped a woman who drank a whole gallon of laundry detergent to try to kill the alien baby that she’d been carrying for fourteen months. Now, normally I’d feel bad for a woman that out of it, but every time she complained about her baby daddy from outer space, she’d foam at the mouth. Like, bubbles came out.”
Brad had to wipe tears of mirth from his eyes. “Tex is trying to keep it together, but I can hear him talking to her, and he’s asking what exactly she drank, because it smells Downy fresh. So, while discussing an impending alien invasion and her mutant offspring, they start comparing laundry soaps.”
Reggie and Mack died laughing.
Tex cleared his throat, trying to get a handle on his amusement. “Then she vomited, and swear to God, it smelled like the Tide Clean Breeze my momma uses. I complimented her on it, and she just smiled and blew a few bubbles at me.” He shook his head. “Definitely the effects of a full moon.”
Reggie stretched. “You know what? You guys win.” Even Mack agreed. “I’m beat. I’m going to try to catch some z’s before we head home in a few hours.”
“Me too,” Mack said. “Anyone have plans before we’re on again Friday?”
“Avery and I have dinner with her folks.” Brad made a face. “Her dad’s still an ass. But man, her mom can cook. And she’s such a sweetheart.”
Tex grinned. “Bree and I are going to a concert tonight. Anyone up for some alternative rock?”
“I’m in.” Mack nodded.
“Not me,” Reggie said, reluctant to bring up his plans with Maggie.No, with Emily. The kid, not the mom.“I’m due for a break, even from exercise.”
Brad muttered, “About time, Mr. Universe.”
Reggie opened his mouth to argue and yawned instead. “I’m focused on puppy training. Furry Frank’s on the mend. Nadia and my dad keep taking turns watching him. I’m afraid if I’m not careful, I might not be able to free the little guy from my family.”
Brad grinned. “If I had to bet between you or Nadia winning, I’ll probably go with your sister.”
The others nodded.
“Way to have my back.”
Brad looked wounded. “Hey, she’s meaner than you. I mean, er, more aggressive.”
“Assertive,” Mack murmured.
Brad nodded. “What I said. Assertive.”
Reggie chuckled. “I’m telling her you said that.”
