“Actually, yes.”
They sat outside on Mack’s porch. “You should never have taken Amy back.”
Reggie drank and waited. “I didn’t take her back.”
“Didn’t you?”
“No.” Hell no. Not really. At least, he didn’t think he had.
“I’ll tell you what I saw when Amy and Rachel walked up to you outside the station. I saw you staring in shock and then with longing. Yeah, I said it.Longing.And it wasn’t just when you looked at Rachel. It was seeing Amy too.”
“But I don’t love her. I love Maggie.”
“Then why the fuck did you let your ex-girlfriend and her kid move back in with you? Amy’s a user, man, and she seriously messed you up less than a year ago. You’re smart, Reggie. Why are you doing this?”
“I don’t know.” He felt such a burden, trying to do the right thing and getting screwed everywhere he turned because of it. “Do you know why I came here instead of going to Brad, Tex, or even my dad?”
“Because I’ll tell it to you straight,” Mack said plainly. “I never liked her for you, and it had nothing to do with Amy being quiet or too pretty or even that she went back to her ex. Do you know why I hated her?”
“Why?”
“Because she took the best parts about you and twisted them.” Mack shook his head. “You’re one of the nicest guys I know. Oh, you pretend you’re a big old bastard, but we both know you’ll do anything for your friends or for someone who genuinely needs help. In Amy, you had a chance to be the hero who saves the day, and then you never got off that horse. She kept you on it by hooking you on her daughter, because we all know what a sucker you are for a kid.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“Don’t you see? That’s who you are. A protector. A helper. Being a firefighter and EMT suits you down to the bone.”
Reggie stared at his friend in surprise. “Thanks.”
“Yeah, well, those traits also make you a major fuckhead. You’re so scared to hurt a girl’s feelings, you keep your mouth shut and turn into a doormat.”
“Hey.”
“See? Where’s that attitude when dealing with Amy?”
He sighed. “I think she cheated on me with her ex when we were together. Hell, I know she did. And I knew then, I think. I just didn’t want to know, mostly because I’d hate myself for loving her. Who loves someone who disrespects them?” Certainly not big, strong Reggie. He told Mack about all he’d learned. Then he went back to the very beginning and told him about everything that worked and didn’t work with Maggie.
“I knew Amy was a bitch, and I can totally believe she cheated on you.” Mack grimaced. “But messing with your relationship with Maggie is just wrong. Are you going to let her get away with it?”
Reggie automatically defended her. “We don’t know she actually did anything. Rachel could have accidentally mistaken a message or deleted the messages.”
“Open your eyes, asshole. Amy’s sabotaging you! If you’re happy with Maggie, you don’t have time to help poor Amy. And no way Maggie lets that shit with Amy continue. So fascinating how your line in the sand—one week, tops—turned into another week. Another line. Then there will be another and another until Amy is back living with you until she leaves you for Devon again.”
Reggie sat there with his head in his hands. “I know.”
“What is wrong with you?”
Reggie felt an equal mix of guilt, shame, and disgust with himself. “I don’t know. If anyone treated you guys the way she’s treating me, I’d gut them. But for some reason, the women in my life get away with shit. I don’t know. I guess I’m just a great big shithead.”
Mack slugged him, and he put some power behind the punch to Reggie’s shoulder.
“Hey.”
“Youarebeing a great big shithead. Now what are you going to do about it? And what are you going to do about Maggie? She’s really cool, Reggie. Guaranteed, if you drag your feet and keep making her feel second-best, you’ll lose her. If you won’t have enough self-respect to stand up for yourself with Amy, then do it for Maggie. You remember, the woman you supposedly love?”
“I do love her.” Oddly enough, putting Maggie first made it easier to think about pushing Amy, and possibly Rachel, away. He needed to stop worrying about hurting their feelings and start worrying more about killing his relationship with Maggie.
“I believe you. And I think Maggie loves you back.” Mack paused. “But didn’t you say her ex-husband is spending more time here in the city? Gee. I wonder what that’s about.”
