“I don’t.”
“Have you ever loved a woman? And not your mom or other family.”
He just looked at her.
She swallowed a boatload of nerves, wanting so badly to believe he loved her. Now a little afraid he did. “Ah, do you think maybe you’re afraid of feeling so much? So you keep drawing back instead of trusting yourself to know you won’t hurt me? What happened to your mom was an accident.”
“I hit her,” he whispered.
“Yes, but you never did again. And you didn’t hit her on purpose in the first place. Or did you?”
“No,never. But I’m worried. With you, I don’t feel control.” He cupped her cheek. “I burn and rage. I want to kill anyone who hurts you. And when you get mad at me, I don’t like it.”
“I don’t like it either, but that’s life.”
“But—”
“Honey, you can’t tuck away the bad stuff. You have to let it all out. Within reason, I mean. And there are people you can talk to who can help you deal with emotions.”
He paused. “My aunt is a therapist.”
“See?”
“But I don’t talk to her about that. I want to put it in the past.”
“But it’s not in the past,” she said gently because he looked so miserable. “The other day, why did you want space?”
“I felt all the hurt that comes with my father. Maksim brought it back. I didn’t want you around all that ugliness.”
“But I want your ugliness.”
He frowned.
“Let me ask you something.” She grabbed his big hands in hers, hands that could be so strong and do so much damage then touch her with such care. “Did you miss me?”
He groaned. “So much. It was like the sun went out and all was dark and cold. I don’t want to be without you.”
That wassomuch better than a troll doll. And he said he had no romance inside him. “I missed you too. But Axel, I can’t live with a man who shuts me out. I told you I don’t do lies. Well, only giving part of yourself is living a lie. It’s not sharing with your partner the whole truth. When I’m scared or afraid, I want to know I can come to you and tell you how I feel.”
“You can.”
“I need to know you can share with me too.”
“It’s a man’s job to take care of his woman.”
She gave him a look.
He flushed. “It is.”
She just kept staring at him.
“Okay, maybe I could rely on you too. But I just, sometimes I feel…” He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. He seemed nervous. “I think I’m not…”
“Axel?” He seemedsoclose to opening up.
Instead he kissed her. Her libido almost managed to override her disappointment. But she pushed him back. “Sex is not the answer.” Which would sound so much more like she meant it if she could catch her breath and ignore his huge erection pushing against her belly.
“I know.” He leaned down to press his forehead to hers. “I miss you so much.”
