“I didn’t mean to.” He started crying, ashamed because he’d hurt her, ashamed because the anger had yet to abate. He wanted to strike out again, to keep on hitting.
“You’re a monster, and you always have been,” Maksim said, his voice cold.
But though Maksim had called her a liar, he hadn’t yet fully turned on Ilse. That would come a few years later, when their father’s lies wormed through affection and loyalty and shattered the family for good.
“Axel?”
Lost in bad memories, he was surprised by Rena’s voice, and he jumped.
“Sorry. Did your brother go?”
He turned to see her looking at him oddly. “Ja.”
“I heard shouting. I guess you two still aren’t getting along, huh?”
“No. And I don’t think we ever will.” He felt raw, his brother a reminder of all the reasons dating Rena was a bad idea. Remembrances of a violent past making him loath to talk or even think about seeing Maksim or Jannik again.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” he said firmly, needing space, unable to process the happiness he’d so briefly touched with Rena. Because that fight with his brother had been one of many that he’d had at school and with classmates. He’d been a violent, moody teenager, and his sweet mother had deserved so much better.
It had taken a long time to get past his outbursts, to be able to control his violent tendencies. Yet not so long, he thought, recalling what he’d done to Rabies. The way he’d laid out Scott with one punch.
What if Rena had come between them? What if she’d put a hand on his shoulder and he’d turned and punched her instead?
“Sweetie, are you okay?” she asked softly.
He wanted to be. Very much. She needed him now. But he couldn’t.
“I need to be alone for a bit,” he managed without screaming his frustration, his voice cool. How had the day gone from so good to so bad in so short a time? “I’m sorry, but you should go.”
“No, that’s okay.” Her smile looked too bright, and it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ll get my things and go home.” She had no car because he’d driven her last night.
“I’ll drive you.”
“No. I’ll grab an Uber.”
“No, I will…” At the sight of her mulish expression, he swallowed. “Okay. But text me when you get home, okay?” He paused. “Please.”
She gave a stiff nod.
He wanted to follow her, to apologize and explain why he was scared and hope they’d work it out. But instead he did what came naturally. He distanced himself and watched in silence as she pushed past him and walked out the door.
* * *
“Be my Valentine, my ass,” Rena snarled as she waited on an Uber to come pick her up. There had been one in the area, and it scooped her up and dropped her at home in no time.
She let herself inside and realized she’d forgotten the dang dog. Oh well. Chi-Chi would have to put up with that aggravating man’s moods.
Honestly, it was like he was on his period. Happy one minute, kind and gentle, then angry and distant the next.
This pattern didn’t bode well for a future between them. Rena liked to talk things out. Holding shit inside just made it worse. But Axel didn’t seem to see that. Quiet, contained, and God forbid he get upset with someone. Then he’d either pound the crap out of them or ignore them.
Though she had to admit she’d prefer being ignored to being hit.
But the thought didn’t fit because Axel had never once, in all the time she’d known him, been aggressive with her in any way. Well, not counting sex, and that happened only if she asked for it. If they started to argue about something serious, and not just what TV series to binge or which flavor of ice cream was best, he clammed up.Yeah, well, silence is not always golden, Ragnar.
She grumbled to herself as she returned her landlord’s calls, pleased to hear sincere concern and a desire to get the building back up to code as soon as possible. Then she sent a group text to Stella, Tommie, and Nicky to meet at her place and spent her remaining hour cleaning up so she didn’t look like a complete slob for company.
