“She has a letter Allen Smith left for me. Yeah, our dad.”
“No shit. Wait. What’s with the blackmail?”
“She wants me to do something for her, or she won’t give me the letter. For all I know, it doesn’t exist.”
“But you have to find out.”
“Do I?” Smith felt so tired. “Who gives a fuck? Angela didn’t want me. Meg didn’t either. And I never once heard from Allen. So who cares?”
“But you’ll always want to know.”
“Yes, no. I don’t care about much of anything right now.”God, I won’t cry. Not in front of him.
“Oh, enough ofthis.” Cash stood over him, his hands on his hips. “What exactly did Erin say that put you in this funk? Did she or didn’t she break up with you?”
“I don’t know.”
Cash stared at him, his mouth open. “How can you not know? Are you telling me she’s pissed off, you have no idea why, and that’s why you’ve been moping around like you just found out Old Yeller dies in the end?”
“Thanks, Spoiler Alert. I’m guessing that’s the only book you ever finished so you just had to share.”
Cash gave him the finger. “You are so very, very sad. Pathetic. Talk to Erin and find out what’s wrong. You can’t fix it if you don’t know where to start.”
“I know that,” Smith snapped. “I asked her to move in with me. And she said yes. But she won’t move all her stuff in, and I know it’s only a matter of time before she leaves.” God, he didn’t want to think it, but he knew it was coming. Had known all along. “Why would she stay? None of them stay.”I’m such a loser.
He heard his mother—Meg—telling him the same thing in so many ways over the years. The kids who didn’t come to his party and never invited him to theirs. The girls who never called him back. Who used him until he’d learned they only took and took and never gave. His mothers, who had thrown him away.
Yet he still hadn’t learned, thinking that giving Meg money and coming back to see her once he got of the service would make a difference. “I’m so stupid.” A big ball of self-hate stuck in his throat, and he choked on it.
“You are a moron. I don’t know if I’d say stupid…”
Smith rose and charged, knocking Cash to the ground. He started whaling on the guy, out of control and uncaring of anything but getting back the blessed numbness of his life. He felt himself get hit multiple times, but the pain didn’t matter. And then he felt Cash’s arm around his neck.
“Jesus, pass out, asshole. Before you kill me,” Cash croaked.
And he knew nothing more.
When Smith woke up,he was lying in a bed in a strange room, his arms and legs tied to the frame’s posts. He knew he should care, but he didn’t.
“Yo, he’s awake.”
Cold water splashed in his face, making him gasp. “There you are, sunshine.” Reid sounded happy but looked like he wanted to chew nails. “Wake the fuck up.”
“R-Reid?”
“That’s right.”
Cash and Evan stepped into the room.
Smith opened his left eye wider, but his right eye remained sore, so he left it closed. “You look like shit,” he rasped to Cash, who sported bruises and limped when he moved.
“You’re already on my list, don’t add to it.”
Evan shook his head. “What is wrong with this family?”
Smith laughed, and not in amusement. “What family?”
“Okay, this self-pity crap? It’s done. You’re done.” Reid threw another glass of water at Smith.
