She leaned forward to kiss his cheek. But even with red, puffy eyes and a snotty nose, she was beautiful to him. “Thank you. No one’s ever told me that.”
“Sure. Just don’t love him now.”
She smiled. “I don’t. If he came back tomorrow and begged me to marry him, I wouldn’t. We’re over, and I’ve moved on.”
“You’re crying.”
“Hey, you said the love is still there. I can cry for what I had. Not have. Had.”
That sounded healthy to him. “True. So back to Rita. She was sick for a while, and anytime I tried to get her to see a doctor, she put me off. See, Rita’s parents were doctors, her dad an oncologist, if that doesn’t beat all.” So ironic, still. “She knew her symptoms could have been cancerous, but she didn’t want to believe. And she was estranged from her parents, so maybe that’s why she put it off too. By the time she finally went in for a diagnosis—because I made her—it was too late to do anything about it.
“We were happy together, and we’d probably still be happy if she hadn’t died.” He’d cried all the tears he could over her. And now when he remembered her, he thought of her with love and not sadness. Well, not all sadness. “She was messy and snippy and a morning person. She loved tacos and a snarky sense of humor. She’d have loved you.”
Kenzie looked taken aback for a moment then gave him a gentle smile.
“Being with her that last year, when she was so sick, was so hard. At times I almost hated her for putting me through it. Oh, not for anything she did to make me stay by her side. She did everything she could to make me leave her to die. But I wouldn’t.”
Kenzie reached for his hand, and Evan gripped it as he continued, “But she made me mad because she might have been able to live longer, maybe even beat her cancer if she hadn’t waited. By the time they caught it, it had spread through her body. And she…” He still had a difficult time thinking about it.
“She what, Evan?” Kenzie stroked his hand.
“She tried to kill herself. I understand why she tried, but I thought, if I can stand by you through all this, why can’t you stand by me?” Oh hell, his eyes were watering.
Kenzie sniffled and offered him a tissue.
“I’m not crying,” he growled.
“No, of course not.”
He blinked the offending tears that weren’t tears away. “I cried myself dry a long time ago, and I came to peace with what happened. Losing her didn’t turn me off to loving again or assuming that the next person I love might get sick and die. We all die in the end. Now I’m not saying I dove right back into the dating pool. It took me a while. Over a year and a half before I tried. But I haven’t tried that hard.
“So my point with all of this is that I understand pain and betrayal. You weren’t expecting him to leave. I wasn’t expecting her to either. It happened. And it’s okay to feel angry or sad, you know.” He pushed Kenzie’s hair back behind her ear, loving the fact he could do that. Touch her and see her smile. “I never want you to pretend with me. About anything.”
She watched him. “Evan, do you love me?”
He didn’t hesitate. “I do.”
“And Daniel? What do you feel for him?”
“Honestly? I’ve wondered what it would be like to always have him around, because when I think of you, I think of him. Two halves, one whole. A family. He’s a great kid. I always wanted a brother, and I used to pretend my cousins were mine. But a younger brother would work for me too.
“Relationships take time, I know. What I feel for you happened fast, and I’m still confused by it. But I accept it all the same.” He put a hand over her heart. “You need to process all that. And by all that’s holy, stop ignoring me. If you don’t want to talk, just tell me you need time.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?” she asked.
“No. It’s not.” He knew the emotional crisis had passed, and now he wanted to remind her of what else they had in common. He pushed all the spent tissues to the floor and tugged the blanket down, exposing her breasts.
“Evan?” Her eyes were wide, brown flecks of desire swimming in the green depths.
“For instance, there’s a difference between making love and fucking.”
She licked her lips, and he could see her feeling that undeniable sexual chemistry between them. “Oh?”
“Yeah. What we did here, taking our time, feeling all that romance and a slow burn to orgasm? That’s making love.”
He pulled her off the bed to her feet and kissed her, showing her how much he wanted her. Wanted to imprint onto her so that she always knew she belonged with him. “But that need, the hunger that gets your pussy wet and my dick hard, that’s how our bodies come together. For a good, hard fucking.”
He cupped her breast and squeezed her nipple, not too hard but enough to get her attention.
