As if she could think about anything else.
“I’m already distracted. If I sleep with you, I complicate the situation we’re in. I end up pissing you off at some point because we’ll grow closer, and sometimes I can be an asshole.”
She raised a brow. “Sometimes?” Amazing how accurately he painted this picture, because she totally followed along.
“I’ll say something stupid and make you second-guess me. Then you won’t listen to me when it’s about your safety, and something will go wrong. Trust me, it’ll happen.”
“Then why the big push to sleep with me?”
He groaned. “Because I can’t help myself. Even knowing it’ll probably all go to hell, I want you. I can’t think about much else without your smarmy face showing up.”
Her heart pounded. “Wait.Smarmy?”
“Look, I want you. You want me. Why is this wrong? Aside from the obvious, I mean.”
Why indeed? Solene hadn’t had sex in months. Deacon turned her on without trying. She wanted him, but she had no intention of losing her heart to the man. Solene had a head on her shoulders. No matter how much he might aggravate her in the future, she wouldn’t ignore him at the cost of her safety. At least, she hoped she wouldn’t.
Rationalizing away all the bad things that could happen, she asked herself the million-dollar question.
Why not have sex and end her frustration?
“I don’t have any birth control, Deacon. I doubt you do either, unless you grabbed some on our escape from my house.”
He gave her a shuttered glance. “I forgot to stock up on the go-bag. Sex was the last thing on my mind when they were shooting at me.”
“Good to know.”
His lips curled. “But I’m totally clean.” He sobered. “And I think I told you I’m shooting blanks.”
“That takes care of you.” Her pulse rate jacked way up. “Maybe I have an STD and am in my fertile cycle.”
“Are you?”
She didn’t want to lie, and with nothing else to do…Great. So now I’m justifying having sex because I’m bored?“No, I’m clean. I’m not at the right time to make a baby. I don’t think. Though that’s not a consideration, I guess.”
He crossed to her. “So how about it? I promise not to fall for you. You obviously don’t care about me at all.”
“Hey.”
“So, youdocare?”
“Well, um, you’re a good person. I don’t know you well enough to love you.” Just saying that felt silly…and like a lie.
His gaze was awfully intense. “Right. No deep feelings on the table, just a mutual admiration and a healthy case of lust. I promise I’ll make it good for you,” he said, his voice thick. Then he smiled. “Besides, we need a break from all this research. We’ve earned it.”
“I don’t know…”
Deacon hadno idea how he’d lowered himself to scheming like some pent-up, desperate jackoff. Or why he’d been so incredibly honest with her about things she had no reason knowing about. His codename? The guys’? The fact that he was likely sterile? He’d never had to admit that; he just used protection. Yet he wanted her to know.
I’m such an asshole.
He stared into her honey-brown eyes, lost. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.” Anything.
He’d made some pretty valid points, to his way of thinking. One, they needed to take a break from research or they’d go batty. Two, they clearly wanted each other. He’d seen her heated glances during the day, had felt her gaze on him like hands all over his body. Three, he’d already fallen for her, though he’d accused her of having done the same.
Well, fuck.There it was, out in the open, if only in his brain. He cared for Solene Hansen. Just his type, gorgeous and snarky and genuine. He’d never met a woman like her, and no matter how much he tried to downplay his feelings, he felt more for her than he’d ever felt for anyone in his life.
“You’ll do anything, hmm?”
