“The Business. I’m done.”
Deacon said nothing, studying him. “Is this because of the baby?”
“No. It’s been a while in coming.”He heard a yawn and put the baby to his shoulder, patting him softly on the back, as he’d seen Addy do. “I know what we do matters. That we help make the world a better place. But I’m tired of killing. I want more than that. I want to plant my boring vegetables.” He saw Deacon’s lips quirk. “Watch the sunset from one place, not from a different port in a different country each night. I wantto know I’m building something, not just taking something or someone down.”
Deacon stared at the back of the baby’s head. “You know, I get it. Those of us who do this work understand like no one else can.”
“Yes.”
“I think about it too. About leaving. But I have nothing else. It’s not that I like killing people. Though I admit it’s sometimes satisfying. I don’t have that problemwith right and wrong like you do, Noel. Ice. You’re cold because you think it’s wrong to fix problems the way we do. But I don’t. I love living in the gray.” He smiled, but the expression stopped short of his eyes. “Sometimes doing all the right things the right way won’t solve a problem. They need us, Noel.”
“Yes, but they don’t needmeanymore. I’m done, Deacon.”
“I understand.But do you think Big Joe will?”
“I hope he does. I’d hate to kill him to prove a point.” He nestled the baby against him as he tensed, hoping like hell it wouldn’t come to that.
“You have a baby to protect.”
“Deacon, we both know there’s a strong possibility this baby is yours.”
“Or Hammer’s,” Deacon was quick to point out. He sighed. “I know, man. Honestly, I’m tiredof all of the shit too.” He looked into Noel’s eyes. “It’s easier talking about it with someone who understands. You and Hammer. This kid.” Deacon grinned. “We’re friends now, aren’t we, Noel? Kinda like family, even.”
Noel grimaced. “I guess so.”
Deacon laughed, then lowered his voice when they saw the baby drift off. “That’s good. Friends are good. I’m a loyal kind of guy. So’sHammer. Unless you fuck us over, we’ll stand by you and the kid.” He nodded to the baby. “We’re the good ones, the ones who know when too much brutality is too much. There are a lot of guys in the Business who don’t know when to quit. Big Joe will let you off, Noel. I’ll make sure of it.”
Noel couldn’t believe his good fortune. Unless Deacon was dicking with him. “Don’t lie to me, becauseI’ll know.”
“Nah, you won’t. I’m good at what I do.” Deacon grinned. “I’m not lying about this, though. That kid is special. Something good that came from one of us. I swear to you the kid will be okay. One way or the other.”
Noel nodded. “Good. The thing that still bothers me is we have nothing on the mother. Hammer still hasn’t learned anything.”
“Damn. I picked up someinteresting ideas while you were gone. Aside from knowing what diapers and wipes work best with the stink-butt”—he nodded at the baby—“I can tell you that someone out there hates you, me, and Hammer.”
“I get Wilkes hating me because I killed his brother.” Ted, the fake meth head with the botched attempted mugging. “But all three of us?” Noel glanced at the baby again and continued to rockhim. “So the baby is connected to the attempts to kill me?”
“I can’t say for certain, but I think so.” Deacon grabbed a notepad out of the back pocket of his jeans. “I was going to wait for Hammer to get back to share this, but what the hell. What else do we have to do?”
“Hold on.” Noel set the baby down in the crib Deacon had purchased while he was gone. “Nice crib, by the way.”
Deacon shrugged. “At least now I’m not worried he’ll roll off the bed. Kid wriggles like an eel.”
Noel left the baby after turning on the baby monitor. Deacon followed him into the kitchen, where Noel turned on the other monitor and put a kettle on for some hot chocolate.
“Want some?” he asked.
Deacon brightened. “Do you have mini-marshmallows?”
“No, the big ones.They didn’t have any tiny ones at the store or I’d have gotten some.”
“Bummer, but okay.”
Noel saw the humor in two grown-ass men who killed for a living bonding over hot chocolate and marshmallows. “So, what did you learn?”
“That there’s rumor of a plant living on the island, keeping watch. Our guy, I think. That the hits on you were to shake you up, to see if you could handleyourself on your downtime. Someone’s been following you and knows your habits. Not good, Noel.”
“Damn.”
