Yet he’d done it with her.
“Having sex is getting vulnerable. So I don’t do it a lot. And I’m always—usually—careful. The baby isn’t mine. I just know it. But if he were, I’d take care of him. I might be a killer, but I’m a protector at heart. No boy of minewould ever want for security.”
She believed him.
“Thing is, something went wrong after my last job. Not on the job exactly, but on my return home. I was nearly mugged in the city. Then I was almost run down on the street. Then this, today. None of it makes any sense. We’re a closely guarded secret, Addy. No one but my handler and his boss know my missions. I said I work for the government,but my Business contracts out the jobs. Seriously. I don’t exist. Noel Cavanaugh works for an investment firm. He’s good at what he does. But he’s not me.”
She thought about that. “Is Noel Cavanaugh even your real name?”
He watched her, and she swore he looked for a brief second as if he still had hope—for her? “Noel is real. Cavanaugh isn’t though.” He paused. “My last name is Smith,believe it or not. Noel Smith.”
“Really?” She smiled, seeing the humor in such a common name for an uncommon man. She took his hand in hers, feeling for him when he gripped her tight. “Noel, why did you ask me out?”
He flushed but didn’t look away. “I wanted to go out with you.”
“For two years you’ve ignored or avoided me. Why now?”
He sighed. “I don’t know. If I’dbeen smart, I would have stayed away. Addy, I’ve known about you for a long time, even before you moved back. I’m a cautious guy. I have to be. I researched all my neighbors. My closest ones especially.” He rubbed a thumb over her hand. “When you moved back to Bainbridge, it was so hard to stay away. I liked you from the start. But I didn’t want to drag you down. I’m not a safe man. I’m not a nine-to-fiverworking for stock options with dinner and a movie on the brain.”
“So you just wanted in my pants, is that it?”
He scowled. “Hell no. I mean, yeah, I wanted to have sex with you. You’re beautiful, smart, funny. Why wouldn’t I? But you’re sweet, nice. Damn, Addy, you teach school kids. Ikillpeople for a living. It’s not a good mix.”
“But…?”
“But then you handed me ababy on my doorstep. He made me see that my wanting to get out of the job has been building. I’ve been contracting for twelve years. I’m only thirty, and I’m burned out.”
“I sense that.” She held him. “Do you really like gardening?”
He gave her a small grin that tugged at her heartstrings. “I really do. I wasn’t lying about all of it, like I said. I’m actually very boring. I don’tlike going out. I’m a homebody. When I’m home, where it’s safe, I garden. I read. I try to pretend I don’t want you,” he said wryly before pulling his hand away. “Watching a sunset, hearing the birds and watching them fly overhead, that’s magic to me. But it was nothing compared to last night.” He swallowed, his heart in his eyes. “Last night meant something to me.”
“It meant somethingto me too.” What, was the question. “Okay. So let’s say I trust what you’ve told me. Where do we go from here?”
“Igo far away,” he said firmly. “Away from you, so the danger’s gone. Then I finish figuring out who’s behind this.”
“No.”
“I—what?” He frowned.
“They came for me once. What’s to say they won’t do it again?”
He gritted his teeth.
“I’m saferwith you than without you.”
“Addy, I won’t put you in danger again.”
“You will if you leave me alone.”
“I—crap.” He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “You don’t understand. I can’t let them hurt you.”
“So don’t. Get Deacon and Hammer back here and figure out what’s going on. And figure out what to do about Noel Jr.”
He blew out a breath. “Easier saidthan done.” He turned to look at her. “You’re really okay with all I said? With everything that happened?”
“No, but I’m adaptable. You know my dad was a cop?”
“Yeah. And a helluva gardener.”
