“I think you did enough. Like I said, all the group togetherness has slowed way down since our initial bonding. Mostly now it’s her, Gideon and Eli. I join in occasionally, Carter pretty much sticks to the guys when he’s not glued to his computers. We have what we need from the pack bond. And now you’re in.” He smiled down at her, and his joy made her heart melt.
Which gave her a huge slap in the feels. “Oh my God. How can I be this happy?”
He frowned. “Kennedy?”
She felt terrible. “My cousin is in the hands of Edwin Lang, and I’m thinking hearts and flowers and forever.” She saw his face change but didn’t register anything more than her shame. “I am a horrible person.”
Her beast felt confused.
“No. Stop.” Alex’s command snapped her out of her misery. “Life is short. Trust me. I know all too well how to torment yourself for shit you can’t help. Katie’s still dead. No matter how much I hurt or how happy you make me, it doesn’t change the fact she’s gone. Your cousin is out there. Gideon’s best friend is out there. Both of them are in the hands of bad people. What does feeling awful about the situation do to solve it?”
“Nothing. But—”
“But nothing, exactly,” he said bluntly. “We haven’t stopped the search. We have every single contact we know and then some out looking for answers. Don’t think Gideon won’t use you in heartbeat if he has a stubborn resource who won’t tell us things. No, you’re right where you need to be. On hand in case we get a nibble or need your abilities to ferret intel. And baby, I don’t know if you noticed. But you mean a lot to me.”
She blinked the tears away, or she tried to. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be all doom and gloom. It just feels like I’m being disloyal or something. I’m so happy with you right now. But do I deserve to be?”
He wiped her eyes, his gaze soft, the pupils rounded once more, the man in charge. “Honey, the real question is, doIdeserve to be happy? I let my sister down when she needed me most, and—”
“How? She never told you she was going to die. She made a decision for you. And holding yourself accountable for that is stupid.” She bit her lip when he just stared at her. “Sorry. Bailey and I talked about you and your need to take on responsibility for everyone.”
He raised a brow.
“Okay, I get your point. I’ll just deal with being in—”Love with you.She blinked.
“In…?”
“In this situation.” She coughed, amazed she should feel something so deep for someone she’d just met. Was this another case of poor judgement? Her beast taking over to make her feel something because of wacko endorphins? Or the real thing, finally? “Geez, Alex. Do you realize that for all I know your body, I barely know you?”
He gave her a warm smile and kissed her so tenderly, she melted inside. “I was thinking that same thing about you. So while we’re getting ready to go to war and kick some major ass, how about you and I play twenty questions?”
“Um, okay.” He’d thought about wanting to get to know her better too? “When?”
“How about starting now? We’ll get you back to my—our—room, and clean you up. And while we’re getting clean, we’ll figure out where we go from here. Okay?”
She put her shirt and pants on, and he dressed back in his shorts, clutching the rest of their dirty and torn clothes.
“Okay.” She put her hand in his and let him lead her from the room. “Um, Alex?”
“What’s wrong?” He stopped with her outside the gym doors.
“Not to be indelicate or anything, but who’s going to clean up that mess in there? You were a pretty excitable guy, if you get my meaning.”
He blinked, then started laughing like crazy.
“Something I said?”
“No. I just realized Eli is on chore duty in the gym this week. Come on. I can’t do that to the guy. Give me a minute to clean this place and we’ll go up, okay?”
“I’ll help.”
He beamed.And that’s why I’m keeping you.
She wanted to tell him she felt the same, but since she didn’t think he’d intended to share that last, she kept her joy to herself. She and Alex had started because of a crappy situation, but she’d be damned if she’d let Lang or his buddies ruin what might be the best thing to happen to her in a long time.
And don’t worry, Charlie. I’m still coming for you. If it’s the last thing I do.
******
