He chuckled. “I was teasing with thatyou chickscomment. I won’t lie and say I’m all virginal. Truth is—Zoe, you want the truth, right?”
“Yes, I do.”
“The truth is…”
Gavin stared at the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about. They’d only been sexual for the past two days, but he wanted more. He’d never been so into a woman before. If it had just been sex, he thought he’d be able to walk away.
Each time he slid inside Zoe and looked into her eyes, he connected with her. He loved her snarky attitude. Her take-charge vibe that refused to let him get away with shit. And when she grieved for her sister, that realness, that honest love, hurt him. But in a good way. Zoe’s grief was as it should be. Untainted with guilt and revulsion.
He wanted that. To feel love without all the bad stuff that came with it. With Zoe, it felt right. The sex, the emotion, the laughter always bubbling inside at her peevishness. “Still waiting, Sir Sex-A-Lot.”
“The truth is…‘I like big butts and I cannot lie.’” He laughed at her gradual comprehension. “Sorry, sorry. But you said Sex-A-Lot. I heard Mix-A-Lot. And please, you have the finest ass in Seattle. Baby, you ain’t got much back, but what you have is tight.”
“Thanks. I think.”
He snorted. “Yeah. Anyway. The truth. That’s what you want.” And what he had to tell her. Gavin didn’t want to play around with Zoe. No lies, no kidding to cover shit up. If not all of his issues, he wanted at least the big ones out of the way, so he and Zoe could get past them and never discuss them again.
He cleared his throat. “So I was in the Marine Corps. Joined up at eighteen and got out last June. Fourteen years. They weren’t all pretty, but they mattered. I mattered.”
She put her hand on his and squeezed.
“So I joined up with a bunch of my friends. We moved apart, then came back together, so that some or all of us seemed to be in the same unit a lot. Until I had different duties. But that’s not important. What is important is that while I was injured, recuperating, the guys went out on a routine patrol and died in an explosion. It was bad. I lost a lot of friends.”Just say it fast and never mention it again.“Then I ended up coming home. I was fucked up. Not handling being back well. So I started drinking. I had a lot of sex. Things that felt good to make me not feel like such shit.”
“I get it.”
“I know you do.” Her wounds from losing her twin had yet to heal. “To make a long story short, my family intervened. Saw I was being a dumbass and helped me get some clarity. I’m no saint. But I never asked those women at the gym for anything they didn’t want to give. And before you ask, I used protection. Probably the only smart thing I did back then.
“I look back on it now and wish I hadn’t slept with some of them. Yeah, I admit it. I made some mistakes. But at the time, I needed what they had to offer. And so did they.” He paused, putting it out there. “I like you a lot, Zoe. I want to hang out more. You and me. Gardening or hiking, taking in a movie. You know, Netflix and chill,” he teased, seeing her flush. “I’m not out to use you. I’m not out to call you my girlfriend or get you to commit to something you don’t want. Yeah, I was yanking your chain before. We’re finally getting to know each other. Well, more than how to get you to orgasm, that is.”
“You know, I was with you right up until—”
“So I want to spend time with you. I like being with you. You make me laugh. And I’m damn sure attracted to you.” Zoe was different from the others. “But I’m not sure what you want from me. And I’m not sure I could give it to you if I did know. I’m not totally together yet. I’m a work in progress, you could say.”
She studied him, and he saw so much more than a naked woman who could have had her own spread as a centerfold. The caring in her bright-blue eyes, that zing he felt when looking at her smile. With her, he felt at peace, despite the fact his entire body flamed with desire.
“Okay. I get you.”
“Do you?”
“I think so. So here’s my truth.” She drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m the boring twin, the responsible one. The twin who has a burial plot, a 401(k), and my future planned out to the nth degree. But when Aubrey died, it made me think hard about what I was doing with my life. She was fun and carefree. Everyone loved her. I miss her so much sometimes,” Zoe admitted in a soft voice.
He saw her eyes well up, and his heart dropped. “Aw, baby, come here.”
He pulled her into his arms and felt her tremble. She cleared her throat and sniffed.
“Sorry. I hate when that happens. I’ll be fine, and then…bam. Waterworks.”
“Better tears than booze and Michelle,” he muttered, not thinking.
She stiffened in his arms, and he felt like a heel.
Until she laughed. She laughed so hard she cried.
“Those are good tears, right?”
“Yeah. Booze and Michelle. What a combination.” She huffed. “And maybe next time, consider it might be better not to mention specific names of the women you’ve had sex with while being naked in bed with me. I’d rather they were faceless. Because...Michelle? Ugh.”
“I have been known to talk without thinking.” He groaned and hugged her tighter, until she squeaked. “I’m sorry. I really do understand what you’re saying. That came out wrong.”
