Nicole joined them and set down a platter of coffee and cups.
“Damn, Nic. I could have gotten those.” He frowned.
She gave him a beatific smile. “I missed you, Gavin. So bossy all the time. And it used to drive Mick nuts when you called me Nic, because he always thought you were talking to him.”
“Mick and Nic. Yeah, I know.” He chuckled, feeling a stab go right through his heart. Mick and Nic, sides of the same coin, they used to say. He saw the sadness in her eyes, but she muddled through and gave him a watery smile. “Good call on all the tissues.”
She laughed and blew her nose.
“You still sound like a goose when you do that.”
“Still a charmer,” Amanda teased, laughing and wiping away more tears.
“What about you, Nic? What have you been up to?” He hadn’t seen her kid. Wasn’t sure he could handle it, honestly.
“I’ve been super busy wrangling a toddler.” She made a face. “I was three months along when…well, when Mick left us. I had him last August, you know. He’ll be one in a two months.” She smiled. “He’s just like Mick. Eats a lot, throws tantrums, a real momma’s boy.” She wiped the tears on her cheeks. “Sorry. I’m not this weepy usually. It’s just seeing you brings it all back.”
“Yeah.” He nodded, his voice gruff. He blinked a lot, trying not to cry.
“Oh please.” Amanda shoved a tissue at his face. “It’s manly to cry, dipshit.”
He chuckled and wiped his eyes. “Jesus. Does your fiancée know what a hard-ass you are?”
“No, and don’t you tell him either.” She glanced at Nicole. “I—”
“So tell us about yourself, Gavin,” Nic interrupted. “Anyone special in your life?”
“What about you?” He ignored her question. “Amanda’s got a new man. How about you?”
She blushed. “No. It wouldn’t be right.”
“Bullshit.”
Both women looked taken aback by his outburst.
“What?” Nic leaned back.
“Mick, Luke, and I all knew the risks over there. We’d smoke and joke, but we all knew the score. Whoever made it back had to tell you ladies to move on.” He cleared his throat, knowing it shouldn’t have been him giving the rah-rah speech. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner, and that I missed the birth.” He felt like shit. “I-I was in a bad way, and I didn’t want you guys to see that. It was ugly. I was a huge ass, more than I usually am.” He tried to joke, but it fell flat.
“Oh, Gavin.” Nicole touched his shoulder, and it burned through the jacket.
“Gavin, no,” Amanda said.
He glanced around, finally seeing pictures of Nic and her baby, of Mick, of all the guys standing arm in arm around a keg. On a holiday, one where Amanda had shown up with a few giggly teenage girlfriends. Nic and her mom and dad with the baby, all smiling. But he could see the grief she carried, a weight around her neck he couldn’t make go away.
“Yeah. So you two need to cut that sad shit out right now. Amanda at least has a brain. Shocking but true.”
She smiled. “Gavin, not nice.”
“But Nic, you’re stupid if you hide away. You’re beautiful, smart, and you made a great kid.” He nodded to the mantel and all the pictures there. “Mick would expect you to go get laid at least.”
She blushed. Amanda laughed through tears.
“Well, he would. Always said you were insatiable.”
“That’s not true.”
“No, he saidnympho, but we all knew what he meant.”
