“I did nothing. Anne gets the credit, with all her potions and prodding and such.”
“Herbal remedies and muscle rubs,” Anne corrected mildly, gratified by the compliment despite the woman’s description of the treatments she’d employed.
Before he left, he mentioned Dr. Marsland would be out of town most of the next day, seeing a patient in Nailsworth, but not to worry because he would call again in his place. To Anne, this was welcome news, for she had come to enjoy the young man’s company. Far more than she should, she knew.
That night, Anne and Rosa helped Lady Celia into a fresh nightgown. Then Anne administered her medicines while Rosa verified the levels and initialed the relevant lines in the notebook.
When all was finished, Rosa stood before Lady Celia, clasped her hands, and cleared her throat.
“Lady Celia, I have something to tell you.”
Oh dear, Anne thought and turned toward her own room. “Shall I give you some privacy?”
“No. Stay, Anne, if you would. You already know, but I feel I should confess my deception to you, Lady Celia.”
“Deception?” The woman’s eyes narrowed.
Rosa nodded and took a deep breath. “You have given me a place here, entrusted me with this position knowing almost nothing about me... and most of what I told you was not true. You will no doubt wish to dismiss me once you know. Even so, I respect you and I’d rather you heard it from me, instead of Mr. Dalby.”
“Oh no. You as well?”
“My point here is not to accuse your nephew of anything. I gather you are aware of his character flaws already. I am not accountable for his sins, only for my own. I came to Painswick Court hoping to earn your regard, so you might sanction a marriage between us—and hoping to spur Mr. Dalby to fall in love with me, as he once professed to be.”
Lady Celia opened her mouth to say something, but Rosa held up her palm to stay her words. “No need to say it. I know now how foolish, how stupid, such hopes were. For myself, I would not have attempted it. But being a mother makes one brave. And I was determined to do everything in my power to secure a better life for my child. I thought that if Mr. Dalby married me, better late than never, I could provide my son with a father. His actual father.
“I haven’t told Mr. Dalby about the child. Since coming here, I’ve learned he is too selfish to be a good father to anyone, or at least to the offspring of some schoolgirl he had seduced and quickly forgotten. I promise I did not know he was married at the time. And had his wife not died, I would never have come forward, never have asked for anything for myself or Robbie. And don’t worry, I am not asking now. Ihave come to realize my son and I are both better off without him.”
Rosa took another deep breath before concluding, “I am sorry, Lady Celia. I’d convinced myself my goal justified my deception, but I was wrong. I don’t expect you to understand or to forgive me or to keep me on—it’s about time I resumed taking care of my son, at all events—but they say confession is good for the soul, and my soul needs something good.”
A light sparked in Lady Celia’s eye. “Ah! The child in Dr. Finch’s care ...? Dr. Marsland mentioned his partner was caring for his sister’s child. Is he your brother?”
“No. My uncle.”
“Uncle?”
Rosa nodded. “My mother is his older sister. None of this was his idea. He didn’t want me to come to Painswick, let alone to Painswick Court. When I followed him here against his advice, we kept our connection secret to keep people from guessing I was Robbie’s mother. I knew you’d never engage an unmarried woman with a child. Uncle Ernest wanted to protect me from gossip and derision—and protect himself so Dr. Marsland wouldn’t sever the partnership. This isn’t his fault, though he blames himself, I know.”
“Where did you meet Jude?”
“In Cheltenham.”
“I see. And you were there with ...?”
“Uncle Ernest and a school friend. My parents had left for India, and he wanted to cheer me up. I was young and naïve, and Mr. Dalby was so handsome and charming. I thought ... Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I was wrong. And I could have resisted. Yet I did not and must face the consequences.”
Anne asked gently, “Is this why you stopped going to church?”
“Yes. More foolishness. At first I went every time the doorswere open and prayed so faithfully that Mr. Dalby would make good on his promises. Then slowly the reality of what I’d done, my loss of virtue and reason and future ... the shame began to mount. No wonder God hadn’t answered my prayers, I thought. I didn’t deserve it. But I’ve been reading the Bible my parents left with me. And I’ve begun to realize our heavenly Father loves me, even more than I love Robbie. His own Son died for my sins, and I am forgiven.”
“Goodness,” Lady Celia dryly quipped, “a sermon and a show.”
Rosa flinched at the sarcastic words.
“Again, I am truly sorry for deceiving you,” she said. “I will be happy to leave Painswick Court this very night, or stay until you find a more suitable replacement. I will understand either way.”
Rosa bowed her head and stood before Lady Celia like a penitent or a prisoner on trial awaiting the judge’s verdict.
Anne all but held her breath, awaiting the woman’s response as well.
