“He was upset. I am sure he didn’t mean it.”
Anne shrugged. “He said something similar before I came here. Either way, I’ve felt guilty for years. Fearing it was my fault, at least in part. After Mamma died, I was still willing to assist Papa, to help patients under his guidance, but I avoided having sole care of anyone. It’s one of the reasons I hesitated to serve as Lady Celia’s nurse.”
“I did not realize or I would not have encouraged you to do so.”
“I am glad you did.” Anne took a deep breath. “The experience has been good for me. I’ve begun to realize I am more capable than I credited. Dr. Finch and Dr. Marsland have both praised my care. Even Lady Celia has done so. Despite a few ... problems, I’ve learned I am reasonably competent, even without my father or another doctor at my side day and night. I am still not certain there wasn’t more we could have done for Mamma, but now Iamcertain I did all I knew to do.”
“I am sure you did your best, my dear. And in the end, that’s all any of us can do, besides praying for help.”
“I prayed a great deal at the time and wondered why God did not answer.”
Lotty squeezed her hand. “I’ve wrestled with that question as well, for God’s infinite wisdom is often beyond human understanding. Yet I believe He does hear, and answer, even if the answer is not the one we wished for.”
Anne slowly nodded. Feeling tears heat her eyes, she blinked them away and said as cheerfully as she could, “Now, how about I cut some of the beautiful flowers in your garden and put them on your parents’ grave on my way back?”
Miss Lotty smiled. “That would be lovely, as long as you take some for your grandparents’ grave as well.”
A short while later, Anne left Yew Cottage, carrying the flowers and a basket of Lotty’s freshly knitted stockings to deliver to the poorhouse at her next opportunity. Anne left the flowers on the graves and then continued on to Painswick Court.
Upon her return, she found Lady Celia chatting with a visitor. So, leaving the basket in her small, dim room, she picked up the copy ofNorthanger Abbeyand carried it to her secret reading nook. She settled herself on the cushionsof the window seat, found her place in the book, and began to read.
...moreover,she givesyou reason to suppose that the part of the abbeyyou inhabit is undoubtedly haunted,and informs you that youwill not have a single domestic within call. With thisparting cordial she curtsies off—you listen to the soundof her receding footsteps as long as the last echocan reach you—and when,with fainting spirits,you attemptto fasten your door,you discover,with increased alarm,thatit has no lock—
Suddenly the door flew open.
Anne gasped, pressing a hand to her chest.
Jasper Paine drew up short, clearly surprised to find her there. “I say, Anne, you gave me a start. I see you have discovered my hiding place.”
“Yourhiding place? I thought it was mine alone.”
“No, no. This has been my special place for many a year, though I am happy to share it with you. As a lad, I used to hide in here with a book when unwelcome guests came to call or Aunt Celia was in a foul mood. I wouldn’t close both doors, however. Too obvious. Only the one. Which created a shield large enough to sit behind without being seen by a passerby.”
“Devious.”
“I thought so.” He grinned. “What are you reading?”
She told him, only then noticing the book in his own hand.
He turned to go. “Well, I shall leave you to it.”
Anne swung herself off the cushions and rose to her feet. “That’s all right. I had better go and look in on Lady Celia anyway.”
“I believe her caller just left.”
“Perfect timing, then.” She swept her hand toward the window seat. “It’s all yours. For now.”
That evening, Anne sat reading aloud to Lady Celia when Dr. Marsland arrived to look in on his patient.
The three chatted pleasantly for a time, and then he listened to her heart, gauged the swelling of her ankles, and asked after her appetite.
Louie went to the door and whined to go outside.
“Would you mind taking him out, Miss Loveday?” he asked.
“Not at all.” She had been about to do so before he suggested it.
She ignited a long match in the fire, lit a chimney lamp, and carried it to the dressing room. “I will just get my shawl and gloves.”
