“Evidently not. If you mean, will he keep my secret, then, yes, I believe he will. Now more than ever.”
“Are you absolutely certain there is nothing that can be done in that regard?”
“No, Aunt. Nothing.”
“But certainly a gentleman... . He is a gentleman?”
“Aunt, I told you. I will not reveal his identity, so please do not fish about for hints.”
“I only want ... Please tell me it wasn’t that young gravedigger who ogles you so rudely.”
“Ben Higgins? He doesn’t ogle me. Heavens no, Aunt. You can rest on that score.”
“But someone, at least, of your station in life?”
“Aunt, please. I will tell you this, and then let it be the end of the matter. Our family would suffer no further from either the man’s name or connections, were they known. All right?”
“A gentleman. I knew it. Then why ...? Forgive me. We will speak of it no more.”
“Thank you.” Baby Anne began to fuss, and Charlotte drew her forth and cuddled her close. “I am sorry you disapprove of my course, although I am surprised by the vehemence of your objections.”
“My dear, wet nurses are infamously ill-bred, uneducated, immoral creatures ...”
“Thank you.”
“I mean, in general, of course. You will be little higher than a scullery maid. The mistress of the house will treat you with ill-concealed contempt so long as her infant needs you. If you vex her, there is nothing to stop her from putting you out on the street as soon as another nurse might be found.”
“The mistress will not be in residence, at least not for some time.”
“What? But that is worse yet. Really, my dear Charlotte, I must put my foot down here. You cannot live in a house with a man if his wife is not living there with him.”
“Servants do so all the time.”
“But Charlotte Lamb does not.”
“His father lives there as well.”
“Two men, Charlotte?”
“But his wife is in hospital. She is indisposed and may be for some months. Dr. Taylor hopes for less, but he cannot be sure.”
“Why can he not care for his wife in his own home? He is a physician, is he not?”
“Yes, but she ... Well, it is not for us to question. Dr. Taylor wants only what is best for his wife, I am sure.”
“What’s best for her ... or for him?”
“Aunt. I am certain he is completely selfless in this situation.”
“But what is best for you? Certainly not this. My dear, I beg you reconsider. If it becomes known, you will not be able to secure a position as governess, I am quite sure. Your father and sister would be mortified, and I confess, I should not be far behind. But think, Charlotte, even if it is not known, could you really bear another parting? And you will be parted from this child—make no mistake.”
“I know this,” Charlotte said dully.
“Can you really bear it? Would it not be better to leave this place now, to make a new start?”
“I do not know. All I know is ... I need this. I feel as though I am standing on a ribbon’s edge over a black pit, and this is the only way I can keep my balance. Why should I not use this God-given sustenance to nurture this child?”
“It is not your child.”
