She stared at the legal document and the generous figure, speechless.
He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Now that your son is provided for, Miss Rogers, what do you want for yourself?”
Hannah’s mind whirled. She didn’t know. She honestly didn’t know.
She licked dry lips. “May I think about it?”
His eyes dimmed before he set his jaw. “Of course. Let me know what you decide.”
Hannah wandered downstairs in a haze, thoughts and stomach churning. She found herself at the open door of the morning room without consciously deciding to go there.
James rose and came around the desk, looking somber. “He showed you the papers, then? The trust?”
She nodded and drew in a long breath. “I never dared believe a future with Sir John possible. But now ... if he is willing to support my son ... Danny will have security. Education. Life without the worry of where his next meal will come from.”
James gripped her arms. “None of us have a secure future, Hannah. Not in this life. Sir John could change his mind. Lose his fortune. Decide you are not worth the scandal. For there will be a scandal, make no mistake. Even here, far from fashionable society. When people learn who you really are...”
His fingers on her shoulders dug hard, the grooves bracketing his mouth deepened. “But, Hannah, it’s more than that. I don’t want you to pretend to be his wife. I want you to be mine. In reality. Legally, morally, forever. No ruse, no lies. Don’t you want that too?”
His words were jabs to her heart. The pain in his face, a guilt-tipped arrow.
Tears filled her eyes. “James. If things were different, if I could go back and make different choices ... But I cannot. I have to live with what I’ve done and who I am now.”
“You arenotMarianna Mayfield.”
“I know. That’s not what I meant.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “He says in time he will report her death, so we can be together.” She refrained from mentioning that Sir John had not directly asked her to marry him.
James frowned. “If he’s serious, why put it off?”
“I think he wants to wait until her body is recovered. To avoid having to ask Dr. and Edgar Parrish to testify.”
“There is no guarantee it will ever be found.”
“I know that. But in the meantime, if Sir John is willing to stand by Daniel and me, then I cannot turn my back on that. On him.”
His green eyes bored into hers. “I would stand by you, and raise Daniel as my own.”
“You wouldn’t love him as your own.”
“I would. In time, I will come to love him as my own flesh and blood.”
“HeisSir John’s flesh and blood, and Sir John loves him already.”
James glowered, looking away for a moment, yet he did not deny it. “You would forgo your own happiness for his?”
For Sir John’s happiness, or for Danny’s? she wondered. But she didn’t ask. The answer was the same.
“Yes,” she whispered. Though she hoped she would find some measure of happiness, in time.
“And what about me?”
“You are young. You will find someone else. Someone not dragging a sordid past behind her.”
His mouth twisted. “Is it because he is rich? Titled?”
Pain lanced her. “You know it is not.”
“Oh yes, the poor, selfless girl who has to stay with the rich knight. Selfless indeed.”
