“No.” But she wondered if he would.
Sir John expelled a sigh of relief. “Listen to me, Hannah. I don’t want you to stay with me out of financial need alone. Or as your cross to bear to provide for your son. If you want to leave me, leave. If you want to stay ... I realize that is unlikely, yet I hope ...” His words faded away.
She swallowed, wondering exactly what he was asking of her. The implication of his words prickled through her body in a combined chill and flush. She whispered, “What is ityouwant, Sir John?”
She felt his fingers entwine with hers, and looked into his face.
Voice hoarse, he asked, “Is that not obvious?”
She shook her head, stunned by the intensity of his expression, his voice.
His eyes sparked with fire. He pulled her toward him and down until she was seated on his lap. Before she fully realized the intimacy of the position, he cupped the side of her face with one of his large hands, tilting her mouth toward his. His other circled her waist and drew her near. He pressed his lips to hers, hard and passionate. When she did not pull away, he angled his head and melded his warm mouth to hers.
His ardor overwhelmed her and she was stunned by the feelings that flowed through her in response. What sort of woman was she that she could be drawn to two men at once?
He pulled her tight against him, moving his mouth over hers. Slowly his lips caressed, savoring one corner of her lips, then the opposite, then the sweet center. He lifted his head to look into her eyes, to regard her mouth as though the most desirable prize in the world before descending again.
She remembered being kissed like this once before. It had been too long.
She lifted her free hand, spreading her fingers to hold his face, the heel of her hand cupping his jaw, feeling the bristle of beard below and smooth cheekbone above. Then she slid her hand around his neck, splaying it against the back of his head and into his thick hair.
“Hannah...” he breathed.
She kissed him again.
A knock sounded on the door. Hannah leapt from Sir John’s lap as though a scalded cat.
Mrs. Turrill entered with a tray bearing a chocolate pot and two cups. She hesitated, her smile fading as she looked from one embarrassed face to the other.
“I’ve brought chocolate,” she said, setting the tray down with an agitated air. “It’s very hot.” She retreated to the door, then turned back once more. “Be careful you don’t burn yourselves.”
Chapter19
Through Mrs. Turrill, Sir John invited Hannah to join him for tea in his bedchamber the next day. Hannah wondered if he wished to continue the previous night’s activities. But sitting across from him that afternoon, the atmosphere was more that of a business meeting—or a courtroom—than a romantic assignation.
He sat in his invalid chair pulled up to the small table. A tray of tea things lay between them.
Hannah poured for them, and then sipped. But in her unease, she barely tasted the tea.
Sir John stirred his own tea and began, “You mentioned yesterday that you stayed to rescue Danny. You have done so and yet remain here. May I ask why?”
Hannah set down her cup. “I wish I had some more honorable answer to give you. The truth is I had nowhere else to go.”
“Could you not return to your father in Bristol?”
“My father believes I am dead. And I doubt he would be relieved to learn I am alive but have born a child out of wedlock. You must know what a shameful thing that is, especially to a clergyman like my father.”
She thought, then added, “I don’t intend to make him sounda harsh man. He is not. And perhaps he would be relieved to know I am alive. But that does not mean he would allow his fallen daughter and illegitimate grandson to live with him. He would likely lose the curacy were it known. And it would break his heart.”
“What about Bath? Where did you go after you left us?”
Hannah took a deep breath and replied, “I went to a maternity home I had seen advertised in the newspaper.” She paused to collect her thoughts. “The neighborhood was not ideal, but the matron was all warmth and kindness. At least, at first. When she realized I was a gentlewoman, she offered me a reduced rate for lodgings if I would help with sewing and correspondence and the like. I agreed, and the time passed quickly. After Danny was born, and I had recovered, Mrs. Beech offered me two options. I could stay on as wet nurse. Or, I could leave Danny with her, and for a fee, he would be cared for by one of the nurses in her employ.”
“Is that where you found Becky?” Sir John asked.
“Yes. Poor girl had lost her own child and Mrs. Beech kept her on as wet nurse. Becky is good-hearted and sincerely loves Danny, though I once feared she was not quite sound of mind. She seems much better since coming here.”
Hannah sighed, then continued, “At all events, as much as I wanted to stay with Danny, I knew that if I was ever to support the two of us, I would need to find a better situation. So, I took a place as lady’s companion to an elderly dowager, and slipped away when I could to visit Danny. The arrangement worked fairly well for a time, except that Mrs. Beech began raising her fees beyond what I had agreed to, and before I knew it, beyond what I could afford. When I fell behind in my payments, she refused to allow me to have Danny, or even to see him....”
