His gaze lifted to the grand house beyond. “Seems like you’ve worked that out well enough.”
She winced. “Please, let it lie for now. I will tell my father in my own time. Though really, might it not be easier for him to go on thinking I’m dead? Might that not be more bearable than the truth of all I’ve done?”
He ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know.” For a moment he stared blindly across the dripping, green garden. Then he said, “You should know that a man came around, asking questions about Hannah Rogers, and why she had left the Mayfields’ employ. I don’t remember his name. A solicitor, I think he said.”
Her heart thudded. “What did you tell him?”
“Nothing.”
“Good.” From the other side of the trellis, movement caught Hannah’s eye. A flash of green cloak and black umbrella. A sharp-featured face.Oh no.Mrs. Parrish. Had she seen her there, speaking to a strange man in private? No doubt she would think the worst and waste no time in spreading it about the county.
She turned back to Fred. “I would invite you in for a meal after your journey, but I hate to ask you to pretend you are only a friend passing by.”
“Whose friend?” he asked, lip curled. “Me, Lady Mayfield’s friend? That’s a laugh.”
“Well at least come to the kitchen door and I’ll wrap up something for the journey home.”
“The kitchen door like a beggar? No, thank you, Hannah. Or should I say,my lady.”
His sarcasm cut her. “Fred, please...”
Suddenly he gripped her arms, big brown eyes pleading. “This is insane, Hannah. Come away with me. Right now. Go collect Danny and I’ll take you home. We’ll marry. My father will help us and so will yours, perhaps.”
For a fleeting second she considered it, allowing her mindto travel down the path of possibilities. What she would gain, what she would lose. She was fond of Fred, but Sir John was a widower now. Was there any hope...? Guilt flooded her at the thought.
She felt Fred’s scrutiny. Did the shame show in her heated cheeks, her difficulty in meeting his gaze?
His entreaty turned into a scowl. “You don’t want to marry me. Why should you give up all this”—he gestured toward the house—“to be a simple carter’s wife? I never would have thought it of you.” He shook his head. “Better to be a rich man’s trollop than a poor man’s wife?”
She gasped and her vision blurred. She felt dizzy and ill. Never had dear Fred spoken to her with such venom. She momentarily considered slapping his face as a maligned lady might. But truly, what else was he to think? Had she any virtue, any honor left to defend?
He bit his lip and his eyes softened. “I’m sorry, Han. I didn’t mean it. I’m just shocked. Disappointed.”
“I understand,” she murmured. She took a long, steadying breath, then asked, “Why did you come here, Fred?”
He shrugged. “I couldn’t believe it was true, that you were gone. I had to come and see where it happened. Learn if anyone had witnessed the accident, and if your body had yet been recovered. Ask the Mayfields if any of your belongings had been salvaged that I might take to your father. Or keep for myself, to remember you by.” He shook his head. “How foolish I am.”
She squeezed his arm, tears filling her eyes. “Not foolish—dear.”
“Not dear enough, it turns out.” He sighed deeply. “If you won’t change your mind, I’ll leave. But I warn you, Han. When people find out they’ve been deceived, there’ll be the devil to pay.”
She nodded, fearing and believing that very thing. “I know.”If only she had not allowed people to think she was Marianna. What a trap she had laid for herself.
He reached a hand toward her, hesitated midair, then dropped it. “Good-bye, Han. Again.”
With a sad smile, he turned away. He passed through the archway, out of the garden, and out of her life. Leaving her standing there in the rain. Alone.
Chapter16
Hannah spent the rest of the afternoon rethinking her decision and praying she had not made yet another mistake by not leaving with Fred. Sir John’s wife had just died. It was far too soon to expect anything from him. Was she foolish to remain a little longer, and increase her risk of discovery? Especially knowing that Mr. Lowden was in Bristol asking questions about her? Who knew what information he might uncover and bring back with him? In the meantime, she curtailed her visits to Sir John’s bedchamber. Because if the servants or the Parrishes thought their relationship had become intimate, how much worse it would be when the truth came out.... She shuddered at the thought and pushed it away once more.
A few days later, Sir John issued a formal invitation for “his lady and son” to join him for dinner in his room. Mrs. Turrill grinned like a schoolgirl and eagerly planned a meal as festive as a picnic.
Kitty enthused, “So romantic of Sir John. You are a lucky woman, my lady.”
Hannah wasn’t sure about that, but managed a nervous smile, wondering what Sir John was up to now. She hoped hewasn’t trifling with her for some reason. She thought again of his compliments, the way he had touched her, and the fact that he’d asked Dr. Parrish if she could share his bed. Might Sir John want marital “rights” from this pretend marriage of theirs?
The housemaid insisted on curling Hannah’s hair and touching a little rouge to her cheeks. As if her face wasn’t red enough between her self-consciousness and her freckles.
