Turning on the light, my eyes went to Catrin’s side of the counter where her belongings still sat, though moved slightly, as though they’d been used.
She was still here. There was still time.
“Good morning,” Paulina said when I entered the kitchen, my gaze sweeping the room for signs of my sister. “She’s gone already.”
“But she’ll be back,” I said, a statement, not a question.
“She will. But Gisela—”
“I have to try, Paulina.” My voice was firm.
“Please consider what you could lose,” she said, her eyes moving to my stomach.
“I don’t believe she would bring me harm,” I said. “No matter how she’s been brainwashed. We are still sisters. We are still bonded by our love for one another.”
“You could come back. After. When things have settled. When it’s all over. You could go to France and wait.”
“Paulina...what do you think is going to happen? What do you think she’ll do?”
Paulina’s voice was quiet as she answered.
“I used to worry she’d become like your mother. Vicious. Unrelenting. Not hiding her disdain for others. But then I realized who she was becoming was much worse than that. She became like your father. A hunter. Quiet. Sizing up her prey before snapping its neck and dragging it into the dark. I don’t know what they teach those girls in the League. I don’t know if it was a combination of those teachings and being your parents’ child that led her to become what she is. But I should’ve turned you away as soon as you got here. I just thought...hoped...” Her eyes filled with tears. “I wanted you to be right. I wanted the sight of you to shake her out of whatever it was they’ve done to her. If anyone could, it’s you. But Gisela... I can feel her...watching you. Sizing you up. Taking your pulse. You are not safe here. She will attack.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No. I don’t believe that. She’s twenty years old. She’s not like them. She may have some of them in her, but she also has me and our memories as sisters. Love and silly songs and holding hands...”
“I’ve heard rumors,” Paulina said. “Rumors that she’s turned in her own friends. Hannah... Lior.”
I shook my head. “No. That can’t be true.”
“She’s changed, fräulein. They changed her.”
“No. And even if you’re right, it’s because of me. Because I left. But I’m back now. I can make it right. I can make her see...”
“Gisela—”
“No,” I whispered, a tear making a path down my cheek. “She would never. She couldn’t. She’s a child still.”
“She is not a child anymore, Gisela. She’s made choices.”
“Because she had no choice,” I said. “I left her. She had no one to protect her. To show her what was right.”
Paulina sighed and handed me a plate of toast. “You have a big heart, my love. But you are blinded by the guilt of something you were never responsible for. None of this is your fault. And you are putting yourself, and your child, at risk. For all we know, she could come back with an officer and turn you in.”
I shook my head, angry tears making their way down my cheeks.
“She wouldn’t,” I said. “And I will not leave without talking to her. I must do what should’ve been done years ago.”
Paulina opened her mouth to say more, but my mother’s scream cut her off and after hesitating for a moment, she put down the kitchen towel in her hand and hurried from the room.
Catrin didn’t return for hours, and every minute that passed served to make me more and more anxious, Paulina’s words returning to me in waves. What if she was right and I was terribly and tragically wrong? But even as I thought it, I pictured her as a girl trailing behind me, reaching for my hand.
I passed the time by doing the chores I’d become accustomed to. Dusting rooms that never got seen, shining silver that was never used, and checking the pantry for ingredients we needed, should they become available.
In the late afternoon I checked in on my mother so Paulina could begin prepping food for dinner. I had just returned to the kitchen to help when I heard the front door open and close. Paulina’s eyes met mine and she motioned for me to stand beside her, and then she stepped in front of me, busying herself at the kitchen island, her body creating a barrier in front of mine.
“Guten Tag,”Catrin said as she entered the room.
“Good afternoon,” Paulina said. “How has your day been, fräulein?”
