Paulina and I stared at one another in my sister’s wake.
“You should go,” Paulina said, her voice low. “Now. It’s too dark outside to find your contact, but you could hide in one of the closets in the lobby until morning.”
“What?” I asked, shaking my head in confusion. “Why? She just got here. We’ve barely said two words to one another. I haven’t even told her—”
“She’ll never go with you. I was stupid to entertain the idea that she might.” She motioned toward the door, but I frowned and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Paulina—”
She moved toward me so fast I found myself backing up until I ran into the wall behind me.
“That young woman is not the same girl you knew, Gisela,” she said, her voice a furious whisper. “She is dangerous. Conniving. She istheirchild. Do you understand me?Theirs.”
I sucked in a breath, tears hovering on my lower lashes. She didn’t just mean Catrin was my parents’ child. She meant Catrin was a child of the Third Reich. I nodded, a tear streaking down my cheek as I moved a hand to my growing belly.
“I just—I don’t understand. She seemed fine. Why do you suddenly think I’m in danger? Do you think she’d try and hurt me?” I asked.
Paulina stepped back, her eyes filled with sadness. “I don’t know, fräulein. Is it worth the risk of staying and finding out?”
“She’s shocked to see me alive,” I said.
“I don’t trust her.”
I stared at her. I had risked everything to get here. To this moment. To see my sister and bring her to New York with me. And now, when I was so close to seeing it happen, was I really going to give up, turn around, and go back home without her?
I felt a small shift deep inside me. At first I thought it was emotional, and then I realized it was a physical shift. My baby.
William’s baby.
The kitchen door swung open and Catrin stepped inside.
“You can take the broth off the stove,” she told Paulina. “She’s gone back to sleep.”
Paulina nodded and switched off the stove. “Did she see you at least?” she asked.
“For a moment. She looks...” Her voice trailed off as she looked from Paulina to me.
“It won’t be long now,” I said and she nodded.
“Well,” Paulina said. “Our dinner is ready. Shall we eat?”
I pulled out another set of dishes from the cupboards and the three of us took our seats around the kitchen table.
“How long have you been here?” Catrin asked me.
“She arrived two weeks after you left for Berlin last month,” Paulina answered.
I watched Catrin’s mouth turn up in a small, almost irritated smile as she looked at our former nanny.
“Thank you, Paulina,” she said and then turned back to me. “And what brought you back?”
“Well...” I glanced at Paulina and then to my sister again. “You. I learned you were alive and had to come.”
“Where have you been for the past ten years? And with whom? How did you leave?” She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. “Was there ever a pen pal or was it all a lie? Who helped you?”
How many times had I had this conversation with her in my mind? How many times had I tried to explain, hoping my words were enough for her to forgive me for leaving, for lying, and for making her believe I’d died. I’d imagined having to plead with her, a young girl, to accept my apologies. I’d never imagined us doing this as adults. This was much harder.
I took in a long breath and exhaled, rubbing my eyes as I prepared myself, and then sitting back in my chair, a feeling of defeat resonating through my body. This was not going to go how I’d imagined it all those many years before. Catrin was not the same girl.
