Yeah. And I've been drilling myself trying to decide what either of us expects out of this.
And what did you come up with? What should we expect out of this?
Each other. We were Weslyn and Kyran who texted, and now we're Weslyn and Kyran who are sitting down across from each other about to eat pizza. And soon, we'll be back at my place. It's still us, and that's all I really expect.
I'll say, you sure didn't seem nervous when you pulled me in for that hug.
Which by the way was a really good hug lol.
I could tell you didn't know what to do, so I decided to take initiative. And I'm glad you liked the hug. I hope I get to do it again.
Is it weird that we're doing this?
I don't think so. I think it's different. And that makes it kind of special if you ask me.
Weslyn looks up at me with a crazy beautiful smirk on her face and I feel as though if I were to never see her ever again after this, that smile would be painted into my mind. Stained. It’s the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen.
We both put our phones away as we laugh at what we've just done, but the air feels lighter and I can sense that she's more comfortable with the situation at hand.
"I just wanted to ease you into this. I want to make sure you leave here with no regrets," I tell her and I see the glimmer in her eye, grateful for my efforts.
"I really can't believe I'm here," she says right as the pizza arrives.
We spend the next twenty minutes eating and making small talk. I watch the way her lips purse as she chews her food and I chuckle when she catches me staring and she covers her mouth. I also analyze the way her eyes lightup when I say her name, and the little wheeze that comes before she laughs. It's just like we've known each other for years before today but all while still trying to get to know each other.
After we're done, I pay for the bill—which she tries to fight me on—and then we walk back to the car. When I hold the door open for her, she smiles at me and something pulls in my chest. Finally, after all this time, I get to take this girl—the one who's been the subject of my dreams for weeks—back to my house where we can finally be alone.
21
Weslyn
It's hard to hide my nerves, I'll admit. And his little text message stunt at the pizza place actually did work to help me calm them. It's easy being around him, and I just have to remember that he is the same person I'd been texting these past three weeks. Only now we'rein person.
Kyran is kind, and funny, and so attractive. Being here with him feels unreal, but also like I've known him my whole life, though I love that there's still this sense of mystery to him and I love knowing that there’s more of him to get to know.
He's every bit charming, sexy, sweet, and he knows just what to say to take me out of my head, which is where I seem to have found myself more in the past few hours than the last few months.
He opens the door of his car for me once more before leading me to an elevator at the back of his building parking lot. After a somewhat talkative lunch and car ride, we both enter in silence.
This is it.
I'm going to his house.
But what does that mean? Does it have to mean anything? He said that we should just expect each other and while I appreciate the simplicity of it, it still causes me to wonder what that means for me. For us. And what are we, really? At this point, I could call Kyran one of my best friends. But technically, we’ve already been on a few dates. And those FaceTime dates lasted hours into the early morning. And I already feel like I want to be more than friends with him; especially when he says my name and looks at me the way he does.
"I can hear your thoughts from here, Weslyn," he says to me as he turns his head forward. The elevator still climbing the building.
"Can I ask you something?" I wonder, deciding to continue to be as open as I've been and hoping that he's going to be okay with me being blunt and straightforward with him. It's not like we haven't been ourselves in front of each other before, but there was a screen between us. Now, he gets to see my expressions as I wonder things and he gets to hear my voice as I ask them.
"Of course you can." He turns to look at me and gently flashes me the sincerest smile I've ever seen.
"I know you said that we should expect each other from this, and maybe I'm just over thinking it, but what does that mean for you?" I focus my eyes on his, feeling slightly worried that he'll find my question annoying.
But his confidence is heartening.
"Honestly," he starts. "I'm not too sure how to answer that question. All I know is that whatever does come of this, I want that. Unless it ends with us never talking again. I don't think I could manage that very well. But I know that I wantto get to know you more." His honesty is refreshing, not that I expected him to not be honest.
I just wish he could be clearer. Like,I want to fuck you.Or, Ijust needed a friend this week. Maybe even,I am actually the world's most wanted internet killer and you are my next victim. Part of me wonders if he's treading lightly with his words because he's scared I won't accept his real wants, or maybe he's afraid he'll be too forward. Maybe he doesn't even know what he wants.
