“He was my best friend, Haze. We did everything together. I should have seen… something. But I didn’t. I had no idea what he was planning. No damn clue.”
Her expression is sad as she looks up at me. “I don’t think that’s your fault, Alec.”
I sigh. “I know. Most of the time, at least. But it took me a long time to figure that out. Years. That’s why I left the Army. Because I couldn’t focus on anything but how badly I’d failed my team. I couldn’t bring myself to trust the guys they wanted to replace Garrett and Sawyer. I couldn’t bring myself to trust anyone new.”
Understanding lights Hazel’s eyes. “That’s why you didn’t date.”
“That was part of it. A big part of it.” I pause before continuing. “When Green Mountain Guardians formed, I wasn’t sure if I could trust my new teammates, either. But in time, I did. Just like I eventually let go of my guilt.”
“But it’s not really the same,” Hazel protests. “How could you have known?—”
“How could you?” I ask. “How could you have ever known Jason would act like that? How couldyou have known going to work—which weallthought would be safe—would end up like it did?”
Hazel sighs. Her gaze falls to her lap. “I don’t know. I just feel so guilty.”
I tip her chin up to meet her gaze. “I know you do, sweetheart. But it’s not your fault. I swear it.”
Tears swim in her eyes. “I want to believe you.”
“You will.” I press a light kiss to her lips. “It might take some more time. But you will. And I’ll help you, okay?”
“How?”
“Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, just tell me. We can talk about it. Or we don’t have to talk at all. We can watch a movie. Or go for a hike. Or—” I kiss her again. “Or we’ll kiss. Cuddle. Anything you want.”
Hope brightens Hazel’s expression. “You’d do all that?”
“Of course I will. What if I told you I was feeling bad? Or guilty? What would you do?”
Her response is immediate. “I’d help you.”
“Right. And so would I. Because I care about you. And I want you to be happy.”
As we stare at each other, a frisson of something passes between us. Something special. Something I’ve never felt before.
After a long silence, Hazel nods. “Okay.” A beat, and then, “Okay. We’ll help each other.”
I cuddle her closer to me. “We will.”
“And…” Her lips tug up into a tiny smile. “Could we help each other tonight?”
“Of course. What do you need?”
“Could we still have pizza? And watch a movie? And kiss a little?”
Oh.
My heart.
“Yes, sweetheart. Of course we can.”
CHAPTER 11
HAZEL
“What doyou think of a wine and chocolate night tomorrow?”
Winter throws me a hopeful smile before adding, “We started having them once a month after Rory got together with Gage. It’s a lot of fun. We each bring a bottle of wine and some kind of fancy chocolate to share. Plus other snacks to soak up the alcohol. I was thinking we could all get together at my place, unless you’d rather do it here.”
