Not registering what she means, I follow her. "What?"
Shaking her head, she puts her hands in front of her to keep me at bay.
"I was a trap, Achilles." She explodes into tears. "I'm so sorry."
I feel my head rearing back, shock freezing the air in my lungs. Time isn't the same suddenly, disappearing, slipping through my fingers like my fate.
"I didn't know what I was doing," she blurts out. "I promise you. I didn't know. I didn't understand until tonight. I tried to stop it. Idid.I did…" She whispers the last words as shadows creep out from behind the tree while she keeps stepping back.
I'm stuck to the spot. Until not too long ago, my heart had walls as tall and strong as the walls of Troy. Tonight, I’m fully exposed, bare for the world to break, for Nyx to stomp on with the power she has over me.
I swallow thickly, my wide eyes looking around us.
They're Shadows. Three of them, including my dad, now stand behind her.
She's not lying. She's with them. Not with me, not on my side. She's not my protector or my safe haven. She's a traitor. A pawn in my dad's sordid games.
And now they heard everything about my plan.
"I forgot to tell you, Son," my father says smugly as he puts a hand on Nyx's shoulder. She recoils, but he just holds tighter. I can feel it on my own shoulder. "The initiations have started again. We've simply changed the process."
My breathing accelerates, my lungs tightening at the same time as my fists. I can barely follow what he's saying with my ears ringing from the revelation. I'm completely blindsided. I thought the initiations hadn't started again. Chris and Wren would’ve let me know. But they were too busy?—
"Oh, fuck you," I seethe. "That's why you had Wren and Chris focused on Hermes. So you could initiate people without them realizing. They were too busy trying to find out who Hermes was so they could protect their girlfriends from you."
"They're not amazing at multitasking, are they?" he says with palpable derision.
"You didn’t need to find out who Hermes is because you already knew it's me," I say, my voice losing anger. I feel completely numb inside. Even Nyx's shocked gasp doesn't bring me back. "You played us like fucking rookies." I scoff.
"There's only one person around who hates the Circle as much as you do. You won’t try to take us down if you initiate. Or you'll be going down with us."
I can't swallow his words. They stay stuck on my tongue. The bitterness of betrayal, the cutting shards of my father's manipulative games. Once again, he's the one who's going to win.
"As to the initiations. Only the board participates now. We send a woman through the forest, and the initiating Shadow goes after her to make her his."
I try to take a step back, but my body won't move, held still by Nyx's sobs as she keeps murmuring how sorry she is.
But I can feel it, my walls building back up, formidable as steel. All those emotions Nyx brought out of me are crushed by what she’s done. Everything inside me is suddenly glacial, unfeeling.
"If you think I'm running after her, think again," I say through a clenched jaw. "She can run to another country, for all I care. I'm not initiating."
My father laughs mockingly. "Ah, I understand. At least now I know why you tried to take me down. You're a father. You want to protect your precious Sophie. How old is she, Son?"
"Keep her name out of your fucking mouth," I hiss as I take a new step toward them.
He laughs, ridiculing me some more. "You should know something before you decide if you want to participate or not. You're not the only one who'll be chasing her, Achilles. The initiating Shadow runs after his woman, and so does the board. If you catch her, you're in with her as your Hera. If we do, she becomes one of the Circle's Aphrodites."
The Aphrodites. Sex toys for the Shadows to use and torture.
Or a Hera. The wives of Shadows.
I was so close to escaping this life. God, I could practically touch it. I could feel it, taste the freedom every time I kissed Nyx.
"I'm not chasing her," I repeat.
"It's up to you." My father taunts me. "But we will."
His wolfish smile makes Nyx tremble. She's staring at me with eyes full of anguish, and I give her nothing.
