It’s the way he stops frowning at me that tells me he knows.
…Knows thatI know.
Knows the façade is cracking.
His head slowly shakes. “I…I never meant…” He pauses, and his face pales. “Honey?—”
“Use. My. Fucking. NAME!”
“LARK!!!”
I wince, choking as the word slams into me. I already knew but hearing it from my own father’s lips is like being stabbed in the heart.
He knew I was his daughter.
He knew I was Dove's twin.
And yet he still let me live as “the housekeeper’s granddaughter”, as if I was a guest in his house.
“It’s LARK!” he roars at me. “There! That’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it?! You seem to know anyway!” He whirls on Melinda. “There! Are you happy now?!”
“Not yet,” she chokes. “Tell her the rest.”
“Fuck you, you fucking bitch?—!”
I scream when the shot explodes into the ceiling, bringing down plaster dust.
“Tell her the rest!!”
“Okay!!” my dad bellows. He turns to look at me, swallowing heavily. “I…” His eyes dart to Melinda. “This isdifficult. If you could please give us some privacy?—”
“Is privacy going to make it less difficult to tell her how you and that quack doctor have been keeping her medicated to within an inch of her life!? To keep her half-fucking-crazy?!”
It’s like ice over a lake cracking, splintering, spiderwebbing, and then shattering like glass, plunging you into the frozen darkness.
I’m going to be honest with you, I’m a little shocked by what you’re on, and especially the dosages.
The blood drains from my face, and my body goes numb.
I’m amazed you can even carry on a conversation, being on that much lithium.
My father’s face iswhiteas I turn to him.
“What did she just say?”
“Don’t listen to her,” he says. “You’resick, honey. You've got…stuff wrong in your head, and Dr. Caruso?—”
“Stop talking.”
“Lark—”
“STOP. FUCKING. TALKING.”
The room goes pin-drop silent as a bitter, poisonous taste fills my mouth and trickles down into my very soul.
Like I’ve been hollowed out. Like everything good inside me has been removed, leaving me empty and dead.
I know what betrayal feels like. I know—from this fucking man—what it feels like to be forced into marriage as part of a business arrangement…and apparently, what it feels like to belied to about who you are, and to have your very fucking identity hidden.
