“You okay?” Eli stares at me wide-eyed.
“Yeah. Just wish things were different.”
“Zach’s . . . different. I’ve picked up on it. But he watches out for me. Just seems like it's hard for him to show how he feels.” Eli shrugs and takes another bite from his muffin.
Different.
Same word my mother used to explain Zach. Are they trying to hide that he actually has some type of psychosis or something? Then again, my mother and Mr. Knight were vague about my background when they told him the situation I’d dealt with.
Not that I’d want Zach to know how my father used to lock me in the chest freezer in the basement, how I’d fucking be in there trying to claw my way out for hoursin the dark, screaming the entire time. Or how, as I grew, the space got cramped. Not even how I’d piss myself when he’d drag me by the ankles down the stairs.
“Merci?”
I look up, and Eli stares at me, his forehead creased and lips pressed into a thin line. Fuck. I clear my throat and straighten. “Didn’t mean to zone out again.”
“It’s fine. So, enough about them. Have you chosen a major?”
I stir the milkshake with my straw, the whipped cream swirling. "Undecided. I'm taking core classes while I figure my shit out."
"Any interests?"
"Besides making bad life choices? I used to do aerial stuff at a club I worked for. You know, silks, lyra, that kind of thing."
Eli's eyes light up. "That's amazing.”
“Kind of miss it. It was . . . freeing.”
"You should get back into it. The Performance Art Center has some aerial equipment. I've seen people practicing there.”
"Maybe." I pop another fry into my mouth.
My advisor also suggested exploring the PAC, rattling off a list of potential majors that might interest me. But right now, I’m just trying to adjust to this new life.
“Do you miss your friends from Miami? Sometimes I go to New Jersey and stay at Alexei’s. So, if you want to invite anyone over, they’re welcome to use my room.”
I let out a hollow laugh. "Can't miss what you never had."
Eli reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. "Well, you've got me now."
"Are you always this nice, or am I special?"
"We're friends now. No takebacks."
My eyes narrow, the corner of my mouth ticking up into a smirk. “You know that sounds an awful lot like what you told me Viktor said to you. But fine.”
While the only other friend I’ve had is Raiyne—and that betrayal still stings—Eli’s been nothing but genuine. He’s also easy to talk to and a good roommate.
Having a true friend would be a major fucking plus.
“Since we’re friends, you’re coming to a party with me tomorrow night because I don’t want to feel lonely on Valentine’s Day.”
Eli groans. “The last time I went to a party, I ended up with a bully for a boyfriend.”
I snort, eating the last of my fries. Maybe being kidnapped was actually a blessing. God, I can’t even get the thought out without choking on my drink.
But being back home . . . I’m not worrying about my next meal or making rent. I can actually look forward to having a future.
For the first time ever, I can do something with my life instead of just trying to survive. It’s a realization that fills me with hope.
