My body shakes as I laugh. “You have no idea what my friends and I are capable of. The last thing you need to do is worry about me.”
“I’ve been warned about all of you, but specifics were never mentioned.” He hugs me tighter, his cheek resting against the side of my head. “I understand if keeping things casual isn’t what you want. But it’s what I need. Getting serious, right now, with you . . . It’s just too much.”
Too much.
My body tenses, pulse rate spiking, and it feels as if someone’s squeezing the shit out of my temples.
Isn’t that always my issue? And though I try to calm down, knowing in my gut he didn’t mean it that way, it resounds within my head until it pounds so fiercely I’m seeing those small flashing spots.
“I should just go home.”
He tenses, pulling back to look at me. “Viktor, I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t.” I shove him away and stand, heading straight for the door, grabbing my bag and sneakers before walking out and slamming it behind me. I practically speedwalk barefoot to my car, then drive away.
Fuck Beckett Harper for giving me hope that maybe someone could finally accept me for who I am.
Chapter 15
Beckett
Viktor’s wounded, has been, long before me, and carelessly using one of the phrases he told me hurts him just twisted the knife. The worst part? This is all on me. I crossed the line the moment I had Viktor down on his knees. I was the one who never made it clear this was casual whenIdecided to let it go further.
Ironically, I don’t believe my own bullshit. Not with the way I react so strongly to him being upset. Or how much I hated the way he smelled like another man that night at the club. Or how I couldn’t wait to see him two nights ago, pacing around like a kid on Christmas morning waiting for their parents to get up.
And it isn’t even about sex.
But like everything in my life, things just go sideways, mostly of my own volition.
“You look like shit. What’s going on?” Rinne asks, pulling me out of my own head.
“Don’t even know where to start.”
“Guy problems?” He hands me a small bag of Sour Patch Kids.
I snatch them and tear into the candy, sighing as I chew. Rinne’s become one of my new friends and knows I’m gay. But I haven’t opened up about my past dating life and am definitely keeping what happened between Viktor and me under lock and key.
Especially since Viktor’s shutting me out. He won’t answer my texts or calls, avoided me like the plague at practice before we left. He’s even calling me Coach Harper, and I fucking hate it.
I swallow the candy and stare out the window of the charter bus. “Something like that.”
“Wanna talk about it? Not that I’m much help. Been out of the game for ten years.”
I snort. “Lucky you. Not all of us are fortunate enough to marry our high school sweethearts.”
He shoots me an incredulous look. “Don’t even go there. Our relationship was some second chance romance level shit. Like it could be made into a TV drama.”
My head tilts. “Really?”
He blows out a long breath. “Yup, one of those parents interfering and ruining our relationship. But it worked out in the end. Anyway, what’s going on with you?”
“Psycho ex, and I met someone I like, but not sure I’m ready to jump into anything serious yet.”
“Because you can control when the universe throws curveballs, huh? If that was the case, trust me, the births of my kids would’ve been better planned.”
Ugh, he sounds like my brother. Tommy kept calling back after Viktor left, worried it had been Noah. My brother listened as I filled him in, then pretty much gave me the same speech.
I glance over the seat toward the back of the bus where Viktor’s leaning against Knight because of course that’s just who he had to sit with. What eats at me even more is the way he’s blankly staring out the window, headphones on and hood pulled over his hat.
