“Going hunting.”
Cal turns, gives me the finger, then slams the bathroom door shut again.
My fingers clench and flex a few times. Need to get out of the house. My blood is boiling. His attitude and my guilt do not play well together.
If only I hadn’t screwed up so bad, things could be different. Wouldn’t be second guessing everything I do, wondering if that would be what sends him running again.
Maybe he’s right. He hasn’t shown any signs of wanting to leave. If anything, he goes out of his way to let me know he wants to be here.
Even when I set up a separate bedroom for him the day he came back, he shoved right past me and climbed into my bed. Been there ever since.
And every morning I wake up with him in my arms.
I rub my hands over my face. Could try meeting him halfway.
Gotta figure something out because I won’t lose him again.
Chapter 2
The silence of the forest swallows every step as I tread softly through the snow-laden trees. A thin layer crunches under my boots while flakes continue to drift down through the barren branches overhead.
I keep my crossbow tight in hand, finger resting on the trigger. The cold air cuts at my weathered cheeks, but after four years in these mountains, it don't bother me none.
Easier out here than some of the field training exercises I used to have to do before the world went to shit. Nothing like being in Alaska during the dead of winter running training ops. But I had my teammates with me. Miss those days.
Miss Rex and Colt.
I continue to trudge through the woods, keeping a sharp eye out for any movement. Can't ever be too cautious out here alone. Might be hunting for food but you never know what other dangers lurk.
Cal should be safe. Taught him how to use the shotgun.
I let out a sigh, my breath fogging in the frigid air. Can’t stop the guilt that eats at me every day. Wish I could. I want to make it work with him.
No.
I have to. Went fucking insane without him.
Four years ago, I stayed behind to protect him. Wasn’t in my plan. Rex and Colt had a lot of shit to say about it, assholes even abandoned me. I swallow past the growing lump in my throat.
Rex always said I let my emotions get the best of me. But how the fuck could I have left Cal alone? He wouldn’t have survived.
Not that I had any real connection to the kid back then. Think maybe it was all the shit I’ve seen over the years. Not just after the virus killed most of the population but from before.
Our team saw some of the worst of mankind, especially when it comes to atrocities against children.
Can’t count how many times I was forced to take the lives of children. Those were the worst wars, the ones where children were used as pawns, and I was put in the position of taking out a kid to save others.
And that guilt still eats at my soul.
Think that’s a big part of why I stayed behind–a way to make up for my sins.
Up ahead the snap of a twig echoes through the woods, and I freeze, listening hard. The wind changes direction, and the unmistakable musk of deer hits my nostrils.
Moving real slow, I slide a bolt into place, then raise my crossbow, scanning the trees.
There he is, fifty yards out, head down, grazing with a rack of antlers so wide, he could take out a lesser man. He's a big one—his meat will feed Cal and me for some time.
Still as stone, I take aim right behind his front leg and steady my breathing. Just like lining up a target in the sandbox. I gentlysqueeze the trigger and the bolt slices through the air, piercing his heart.
